Thursday, March 13, 2008

Parenting in a different kind of darkness

Last week, I talked about my concern about parenting in the dark (i.e. Mistakenly thinking your child is a moral, kind-hearted, upstanding young person, while everyone else around them is clearly aware of a major flaw in their character, etc., etc.). While this is still on the forefront of my mind, I have also been thinking about the darkness of the world, and how unbelievably different my girls' teenage years will be than my own, in terms of the things they have to face head on. Sure, they will have the general adolescent temptations I encountered.... their grandma encountered.... and probably their great-grandma encountered, such as disrespectful behaviors toward parents, defying authority, experimenting with demonstrations of independence, making decisions that you might regret in the future,etc. But the world seems so much darker now. Today, with any form of media, the kind of messages our kids are receiving about themselves and their bodies is so incredibly disturbing to me. And honestly, I would really like to stay "in the dark" on this one. The task in which to fight those temptations seems so grand, and I don't feel confident in my abilities to handle it. I want to run away from it all, because I can't handle the ramifications of my parenting if I "do it wrong."


Just a few days ago, a study was published that stated "one in 4 girls has a sexually transmitted disease." I thought of all the teenage girls I know. I went through a mental list of them, and every fourth one I labeled with a STD, just so I could get a stronger visual of what this stat is really saying. Absolutely mindboggling!!! And on a side note....because I am having to take "Valtrex" for my shingles (used to treat some STDs as well), I have wondered what it would be like to have to take this stuff for the rest of your life. The commercials make it sound like no big deal. BUT IT IS A BIG DEAL! WHY DOESN'T THE WORLD CARE ABOUT A STATISTIC LIKE THIS???


I try to be proactive with my girls regarding the difficult conversations of life (i.e their purity, etc.) but I have no guarantee that all of these efforts will yield what I am praying for....a clear understanding of why God wants them to wait to give "the gift" away until marriage. Sites like http://virtuealert.blogspot.com/ and books like "What your daughter isn't telling you" by Susie Shellenberger scare me. But I as much as I desire to live in the dark on this stuff, I just can't. Keeping my head in the sand is not going to benefit my girls, or our relationship in the long run. So, I look at these sites....I read these kind of books...and in sharing with others, probably annoy moms around me who, just like me, would love to keep their heads in the sand, too.


The up side of all of this is how wonderful it would be to have a group of moms hitting these subjects hard with their teens and preteens.....not beating them over the head with it, but having a constant drum beat of "purity" playing in the background of their lives. What do you think? Who's with me? Man, this parenting thing takes a lot of work to do it right. And even after all that work, there is no guarantee. But wait a minute, maybe there is......


Train up a child in the way she should go, and when she is old, she will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6


Will you join me in praying for our children's hearts as they encounter deeper temptations in their teen years? Are you feeling the burden of this too?

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