A Well-spring of tears in the Desert of Ziph

There are many times I have been brought to tears. Movies, commercials, serious situations, watching people walk through painful times, experiencing my own seasons of heartache. It is in my very nature to be weepy. And it is not always dispiriting things that bring out the urge in me. Times of rejoicing, celebrating victories, appreciation for people and God's provision can produce the same reaction within me. I am a complex being, created in the image of God. But as much as tears are a common part of who I am, I don't think I have ever been brought to tears by the Word of God. Is that a mark against my value of the Word, and how I am allowing it to penetrate my life?? I don't know. I just know that as I spent time in His Word the other day, I was startled by the reaction I had. Absorbed in what I was reading, I was startled by the feeling of unexpected tears on my face. For just a moment, I realized that God was sharing something with me that my heart needed to hear, and I was so moved by how it suddenly soothed my soul. Here is the scripture I was studying that day:


13 So David and his men, about six hundred in number, left Keilah and kept moving from place to place. When Saul was told that David had escaped from Keilah, he did not go there.
14 David stayed in the desert strongholds and in the hills of the Desert of Ziph. Day after day Saul searched for him, but God did not give David into his hands.

15 While David was at Horesh in the Desert of Ziph, he learned that Saul had come out to take his life. 16 And Saul's son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God. 17 "Don't be afraid," he said. "My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this." 18 The two of them made a covenant before the LORD. Then Jonathan went home, but David remained at Horesh.

1 Samuel 23:13-15


The words "helped him find strength in God" moved me so. As I felt the tears roll down my face, I heard the faintest sound of them hitting the collar of my shirt. The Word of God was producing emotion out of me. All this running David had to do from town to town, just to stay one step ahead of Saul. All the fear, all the unknown, all the visions of what it would be like if Saul actually got to him. The fatigue, the expelling of energy necessary to hold on to faith, the heartfelt cries of frustration to God, more fatigue. And then Jonathan shows up to "help him find strength in God." Not to remind him that he needed more faith, not that he needed to be more spiritual, not that he needed to seek God more, not that he was doing this thing wrong and that thing wrong. He came there to HELP!!!!!! Let me repeat. He came there to HELP!!!!!! Oh, to have someone walk along side you at just the right moment when all seems lost and remind you to "not be afraid." To speak truth over your life. To understand the situation for what it is, and to be aware that more strength would be needed at this time. How available Jonathan was!! How perceptive!! How selfless!!! It blows me away. I am near tears again!!!!

So with anything I read that floats amidst the neurons of my brain and hangs out in my heart for a while, I had to share this with Gregg. This was just too moving to keep to myself. Too challenging to leave alone. In the midst of having your life pursued with the strong possibility of death, Jonathan knew and understood how taxing...how draining this continued running from evil had to be on David. He was perceptive enough to feel it too. Gregg and I discussed what it means to be a Jonathan for someone. We also asked ourselves two questions:

1) How are we "Jonathan-like" in other's lives? Do we stand along side someone and help them find strength in God when the situation they are in has potentially drained them spiritually, emotionally, and physically? Are we listening to God's heart promptings, leading us to those that need it?

2) Are we open to being ministered to ourselves in a "Jonathan-like" way? Do we let people know when we are need someone to help us find strength in God when our tap is running low?

I wonder if you are aware of current "Jonathans" in your life right now? Who is walking along side of you, just simply to help you find strength in God when you need it most?

From the Mixed-up Chronicles of "BAD MOM"

It is only Monday morning, the beginning of a new week, and I have already securely pinned on the self imposed title of "Bad Mom" today. How I disdain bearing the title this early in the week!!!! I can handle it on a Wednesday if I have to....don't bat an eye if I slip it on Friday, but to don the title at this fresh point in the calendar rotation, I feel like I am dubiously sporting a Scarlet "B". In simple terms, I hate when I let my girls down. I get frustrated when I can't blame my failures on anybody but me. And that is where I am at this morning. The burden falls squarely here. This is where the proverbial buck stops.

I was supposed to get Faith up early to study for an English test. She was working on Pre-Algebra last night with Gregg and when it was my turn to take over, Faith was too spent and went to bed. I was secretly relieved. I am much better in the morning anyway. We could work on it then. This is the point in the story when "BAD MOM" makes her less than royal appearance. Instead of getting her up early, I spent time cuddling with Hopie...and praying with God. I know it sounds all sweet and spiritual...but I should have gotten my lazy cheeks off the couch. When I finally did get her up to study, we had about 30 minutes to pack it all in. She was stressed and I let her down. In the spare minutes we had, I tried to stuff "Schoolhouse Rock" into her brain, by having her sit and watch "Lolly, Lolly, Lolly get your adverbs here" over and over again on DVD. It was clear to me in just my few minutes of assessment, that adverbs were going to give her a run for her money on this test. She could have gotten so mad at me....but she didn't. I just knew I had disappointed her greatly, and therefore disappointed myself.

So here I sit at my computer wishing so desperately that I could ask for her forgiveness once again. Gregg will be disappointed with me too. That is a conversation I will have to save for later. We are a team...the Hesterfamily. And this player didn't carry her weight this morning. I didn't contribute to a win. I missed the goal...made a basket for the wrong team (actually did this once)...committed a penalty that set my team back. Hopefully, there will be someone standing on the sidelines with a blanket of grace to wrap around me and a mercy-filled bottle of Gatorade in hand. That is what I feel like I need the most right now. Hopefully, I have extended enough grace to my baby over the years that she knows how to give it right back to "Bad Mom." Our team could just volley that ball back and forth to one another. Guaranteed it will be needed for another day...another player.

"Things" that are "overdue"

No one likes the word "overdue"....overdue bills, overdue books, overdue pregnancies, overdue notices, overdue recognition, overdue parking tickets, etc. But yesterday, while playing the game "Things" with some friends, I realized that I must have been long overdue in the laugh department, because I was laughing myself silly. It was so obvious. You know what I am talking about. It is that deeply buried, almost embarrassing laugh that comes from the recesses of your stomach and simply cannot be contained. It's the kind of laugh where you could fall out of your seat, roll around on the floor holding your aching side in a fit of hysteria, and still have it in you for more. Thankfully, I was with friends. They pardon this kind of behavior out of you...among other things. I don't need to throw in a disclaimer of why I so needed to laugh like this. They don't need a long explanation of why I was obviously "overdue" in the laugh department. They just accept it for what it is....carelessly unabashed fits of cackling...and they still love me afterwards.

Are you "overdue" in the laughter department??? Do you need to snort (someone did yesterday, and it wasn't me!!) , howl, or shriek with utter abandonment???? Then, I would suggest running to Target (who needs an excuse for that?), grab the game Things, and invite some friends over. Give them the gift of mirth and merriment. They probably need it too.

GO BUCKS!!!!!!

***With apologies to all my family members in Michigan. I still love you. It's nothing personal. :)

Little Birdy....

A Classic Thanksgiving "dish" for this special holiday. It is a must have for everyone's table. :)

Out into the cool of the morning strolls The Pretender

Last Sunday, we were driving to church when the first snow flakes began to reintroduce themselves to the skies of Ohio. There is something innocent and pure about the first snowfall. In November, people don't react as harshly to snow as they do in March or April. Everyone seems to give it a hospitable "hello" and a resounding "welcome back".... at least for the time being.

While looking out the window at the falling snow, Faith commented that we probably wouldn't have school the next day. Gregg and I looked at each other with extreme pessimism and collectively exchanged, "Oh yes you will. You already had two days off this year because of the wind storm. There's no way they are going to give you the day off tomorrow just because a few flakes are falling from the sky." As if our reply was much more than she bargained for, she hastily replied, "What's wrong with you guys? Can't you ever pretend anymore?" We looked at each other with a "Let me...oh please let me" expression on our faces, knowing how desperately each of us wanted to answer the question. But Gregg's words got out of the gate more rapidly than mine could. "No, Faith, we can't pretend anymore. We don't know how. We live in too much reality right now." I knew what he was referring to and I knew it would be years before she would ever understand how much an adult sometimes longs to return to the land of make believe and pretending. The boat left the pier long ago and has no instrumentation to return. That is just the way life is.

Faith's question echoed in my mind for a few days afterward. "Can't you ever pretend anymore??" I don't know. I guess I can't. I have forgotten how. What used to be so second nature when I was a kid has been replaced by the weight of reality. It's hard to believe I was ever proficient at pretending. There is very little trace of it now.

It's funny that Faith was the one to call us on the carpet about pretending. Unfortunately for her (and maybe for all of us too), her days of pretending are downright over. Being a newly christened teenager, with each day that passes, reality inches its way closer and closer to her. Hopie still has a few years left. But pretty soon the Hesterhouse will be filled with reality instead of sprinklings of pretenders here and there. I don't like the thought of that. In all "reality," I don't like that reality.

I think the next time it starts snowing, and the girls are hopeful of a potential snow day, I should jump aboard their "pretending bandwagon." How much harm does it really cause to be more optimistic? I think that is something I need to work on. Optimism is not the opposite of reality. It is just a better, healthier way of looking at things. It's the truth. I'm not pretending.

The Spice of Life

Trying to find a specific spice at the grocery store can seem like searching for a needle in a haystack at times. The search goes way beyond "parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme." You can stand before the spices for minutes upon minutes and still not find exactly what is on your grocery list. There has to be a better way of organizing them. That is exactly what I was thinking when I saw Steve staring blankly before the spices as well.

Grocery stores and deep conversations with customers seem to go hand and hand for me at times. I never know with whom or how I am going to strike up a conversation while I am there. When I saw Steve, a man in his 50's, gazing at the spices, I figured he was probably struggling to find something his wife had sent him in for. I asked him what he was looking for and mentioned how difficult it is to locate just the right spice these days. While searching for Celery Seed, he told me he was making stuffing this year for Thanksgiving, and how important this seasoning was for his recipe. I shared with him what a horrible cook I am, and how I have never made dressing in my life....that is outside of Stove Top, but I wasn't sure that really counted. He smiled and said how much he enjoyed cooking. Even did most of the cooking while his wife was still alive. Oh no...here I am talking about trivial things like spice placement, and he is preparing to celebrate Thanksgiving without his wife. He didn't seem to be that offended by my presence...wasn't giving me any cues to "get lost," so I decided to spend more time with him:

Me: How long has she been gone?

Steve: Since July 2007

Me: Was it cancer?

Steve: Yes, it was.

Me: I hate cancer. I am tired of it.

Steve: Do you work in the medical field?

Me: No, I don't. But I feel like it is all around me right now. I sub at my girls' school, and our art teacher has breast cancer. She is a friend of mine. Hard to see her go through it. She has been an incredible inspiration. It just makes me long for heaven, where all sickness will seize. You know what I mean?

Steve: I guess. I don't know. Do you really think so?

Me: Absolutely. I am looking forward to it.

Steve: She fought a good fight. A two year battle really.

Me: How long were you married? Do you have kids?

Steve: No. We were married for 7 years. (Tears begin forming in his eyes.)

Me: 7 wonderful years. I am so glad you had that together.

Steve: Hospice was incredible. They gave us the opportunity to just focus on the last days together, without worrying about everything else. I wish we had called them sooner, but my wife didn't want us to. I think she felt like that would be acknowledging that this was the end. But they did everything from walk the dog to getting her meds..and everything in between.


We talked for a little while longer. He handed me his card and told me about his business in Groveport. I apologized to him about the noise he must hear from my husband's plane everyday. He said he didn't mind, and how much he enjoyed watching them fly over. He thanked me for stopping to help him with the spices (help with which he didn't really need) and I wished God's blessings upon him. And then our conversation was over.

Of course, I spent the rest of my weaving in and out of aisles in a daze. I just couldn't get Steve's story out of my mind. I didn't anticipate this conversation as I was grabbing my cart and heading into the store earlier. I just never know what God is going to do while I am searching for Kraft Macaroni and Cheese or maybe Kellogg's Cocoa Krispies. I just know that when He does place a person in my life, I am incredibly honored and humbled.

Did I say anything that would lead Steve to know Christ personally? No. Unfortunately, I am not very good at that. Maybe I am just simply a seed planter...which doesn't allow me the privilege of celebrating someone who now knows Christ as their personal Savior. That's ok. I know God in all His wisdom knows exactly what is needed, when it is needed. I don't have to worry about those things. But I do need to pray for the person whom God has given me the opportunity to connect with, and be grateful for the time I had with him/her. And honestly, from my heart, I am so glad I got to spend some time with Steve among the spices...to have him share with me how much he loved his wife. Maybe that was something God knew Steve needed to do that day....talk about his wife.

It's possible there really isn't anything wrong with Meijer's spice organization. I mean, if it wasn't so awful, I wouldn't have stopped to talk with Steve. But I can tell you I will never walk by those spices again and not think of him and pray he will find God's comfort amongst his grieving. I know God's heart...and I know He wants desperately to give him that. I hope he finds Him.

Blessings to you, Steve and Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Sometimes I wonder.......

Sometimes I wonder:

1) Who reads my blog from Akron, OH?

2) Who really eats asparagus?

3) Who reads my blog from Noblesville, IN?

4) Why I can get my books back to the library on time?

5) Who reads my blog from Powell, OH?

6) Why my cats go crazy, and I mean CRAZY for cottage cheese?

7) Who reads my blog from San Luis Obispo, CA?

8) Why the dirty laundry always grows immediately after I finish it?

9) Who reads my blog from Stow, Massachusetts?

10) Why we already have snow on the ground this morning?

A Hesterfamily Christmas

I have already started decorating our guest bedroom for Christmas. A little early, I know...but I am just curious as to what decorations I already have to work with, and whether I might need a few things from Target to get me by. We are having our family Christmas here this year, and I am so excited about it!!!

So, I had to take a picture of our kitten Sophie as she helped me with some of the decorating. She is pretty as a picture...or maybe a Christmas card.

More "firsts" for everything

In keeping with the "firsts for everything" theme, last night my husband finally legitimize our marriage, after 17 years of co-habitating...not to mention the births of our two girls. It seems that while I was sleeping, Gregg had a moral moment and decided that enough was enough. It was time to make it official. So, he went on FACEBOOK, and proclaimed to the whole world that he honestly loved me and that we are now married. WHAT A RELIEF!!!! I cannot tell you how much this means to me. Long ago, I had lost hope that this would ever happen. But when I finally stopped pestering him about it, I guess he decide that I was marriage material for him. It feels good. Now I can walk around with my head up high knowing that my man wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Although....what if I am just a "starter wife????" What if he is just using me for financial gain? Times are hard for everyone now economically. At least that is what MSNBC is always saying. (I can't stand MSNBC!) Oh why, oh why, didn't I sign a prenup??????

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I've noticed over the years that most couples have a TV show they love to watch together, you know, like LOST or HEROES, or something like that. Gregg and I have never had this. I am not sure why. I guess it is because he loves to watch war movies and I like to watch TV Land. He isn't into vintage TV (Oh, the horror!)...and I can't stand old black and whites with airplanes in them. In this crucial category of marriage, we are not a match made in heaven. But that all changed when we watched ABC's Life on Mars!! We love this show....both of us!!!!! We get so excited when we get the blanket out...lay down on the couch, and command the DVR to bring up "our show." Can you feel the love???? No more embarrassment. No more judgment by those in marriages who have an "our show." We now join the ranks of those whose marriages are completely fulfilling...completely compatible. We are now one and it is all thanks to the "boob tube." (Why did people once call it that? I don't get it.) We now know what we were missing as a couple. As long as Life on Mars doesn't get the ax, all is well in Hesterland.

Love, Grandpa-----the Old Vet

You've heard people often say "There is a first for everything." Usually said with a sarcastic tone, the statement gives hint to how much the person wished this "first" never happened in their life. But today, I whispered these words to myself with complete amazement and joy. You see, my "first for everything" is an email I received today from my 85 year old Grandpa. Let me say that again... I RECEIVED AN EMAIL FROM MY GRANDPA!!! To read words from his heart and his mind is such a rare gift to me. He took the time to reply to an email I sent him yesterday thanking him for his service to our country. His fingers touched the keyboard. His eyes glanced at the screen to make sure his "i's were dotted and his t's were crossed." He formulated words and sentences in his head to say to me. I never expected it. I never dreamt of a reply. But there the words sat on my screen...a modern day transaction of dialog between two different generations. What priceless value it has to me!!!!

Hopie had a Patriotic Celebration at school yesterday for Veteran's Day. All elementary students wore a red, white, or blue shirt to participate in the festivities. In advance, the school asked for pictures of vets we had in our family. I searched all over the house looking for my grandparent's wedding picture. It is the only picture I have of my grandpa in his Navy uniform. He is incredibly handsome in that picture. And I am not just saying that out of pride for him. He truly was a "hot number." You can just tell. I was so frustrated when I couldn't come upon the picture. Sure, I could have called my grandparents, asked them to send me a copy. But that would have taken too much time. How I wish I could have shared that proud man's picture with our elementary students! They may have looked at it and counted it as just another old picture. I don't blame them. It takes us so long to develop a true appreciation for the sacrifices of a veteran. I am even married to one and I take the price for granted. I wish we could be better than that. I wish we were beyond the instant patriotism that stems simply from occasionally hearing Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA." I wish it was still in our blood...part of our heritage as Americans. Instead, we have become proficient in the practice of slandering our leaders, our government, and our country. We have come so far....in the wrong direction. Oh, to have a clear understanding and untainted view of what it means to be truly patriotic and proud to be an American!!!!

"I remember when we were in school and at ll o'clock, we had to stand and be "silent" for a minute. Sure they don't do anything like that now.
Hope everything okay w/you and family."
Love, Grandpa-----the old Vet

Living in CAPS

I've had an aversion to "at home" parties for some time now. When my girls were small and with me all the time, I lived for the handwritten postcard in the mail inviting me to the many possibilities of tasting simply, or pampering the chef. I loved the opportunity to get out of the house and connect with other women. It was more than helping a friend earn money for her party, it was a chance to live outside the world of Sesame Street and Blue's Clues for just an evening. It was a win-win for both of us.

As life continued and my time with the girls became less and less, my willingness to "give up an evening" wasn't all it was cracked up to be anymore. I didn't need the break from the mundane as much, and the products being offered just didn't seem to match the value of a stress-free night at home. The abundance of invitations dwindled as much as my need to go. I cannot remember the last time I have gone to a party. Could be as many as 4 years ago. That was before I heard about this......

A friend of mine shared this new concept with me the other day, and I was absolutely giddy when I heard the words "trendy and hip" used to describe this product in the same sentence. I had to share the idea with my sister. I called her right away. She gets just as giddy as I do with those "magic" words. I knew she would be all over this product. But I really didn't know HOW all over it she would be. I just didn't know how to describe it to her. All I could do is tell her to look at the website. And the rest will be history.

Check it out for yourself: http://angelahunn.uppercaseliving.net

Extreme Blog Makeover

I have made some changes to my blog this week. Sometimes I get bored with the look of my blog, and want to make it more aesthetically pleasing. Just like Faith loves to move the furniture around in her bedroom....so must I change some things around on my blog. It is critically important. :)

1) New blog background- Gregg thinks it is too busy. Sister can't see it on her computer for some reason. Hopie thinks it's cool. You win some, you lose some. If only the election had been this easy.

2) Comments viewed on the side of blog- Nice touch, but will it prohibit people from making comments?? Hope not.

3) Live feed- Indicates where viewers of the blog are when looking at the site. This is pretty cool, I think.

Although these changes were very easy to implement, I was pretty proud I could do it myself. Doesn't take much, does it????

When you're looking for a friend to "have your back"

Not to belabor the topic of Beth Moore's David Study, but she asked some poignant questions today regarding friendship....and I was just wondering where others might be on this subject. Gregg and I picked through these questions while on our romantic rendezvous this weekend, but it is always interesting to hear another perspective as well. Maybe these are thoughts you have never pondered before. Maybe this isn't a subject that stays on your cranial radar very often. Or maybe this might spark something within you, that you didn't realize you were desiring for yourself.

The questions in the study preceded scripture that highlighted the relationship between David and Jonathan. As I read through this set of scripture once again, I was amazed at the level of deep friendship between these two men, and wondered just how many women (who stereotypically seem to be more friendship-minded than men) could identify whole-heartedly with its characteristics.

While acknowledging David and Jonathan's relationship was very uncommon, Beth Moore shares 3 evidences of what made it that way:

1) Uncommon friends can speak their minds without fear.
2) Uncommon friends can share their hearts without shame.
3) Uncommon friends can stay close even at a distance.

In each criteria, in classic BM form, she discusses what made their friendship so uncommon. Wish I had room to share all that with you. It certainly would add more depth to the evidence. But her most thought provoking questions were as follows:

How far along are you in being able to embody these three great characteristics of friendship?

What do you think might be standing in your way of experiencing the full blessing of them? (This is my favorite question. This is the one I am most curious about.)

Wondering what you think.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12

When a friend no longer "has your back"

I am really enjoying my Beth Moore study with David. Each day, I feel like I am learning something different and interesting that I hadn't really thought of before. I value that about Beth Moore. It is my favorite thing about her. God uses her to bring out the color, dimension, and life of His Word. Under her teaching, you are left with an unquenchable need to continue reading the Word...as if she leaves you with a biblical cliffhanger each day, and she isn't even The Author of The Book. This study is especially meaningful to me as Gregg is doing it too...just a few days behind me. It's fun for me to discuss this with him.

Today, as I plug along through my 90 day journey, I was reading about Saul trying to kill David. Saul's jealousy overtook his rationality (although there is evidence throughout 1 Samuel which shows he didn't have much), and he made several attempts to end David's life...even when his own daughter was married to him. As I read the scene where Saul tries to pin David to the wall with a spear, I wondered if David ever wondered what happened to his relationship with Saul. Back in 1 Samuel 16:21, we learn that "David came to Saul and entered his service. Saul liked him very much, and David became one of his armor-bearers." Not only that but Saul was "pleased" with him. He found "relief from the evil spirit" when David was around. David's presence in his life was a blessing. He added much to Saul's life.

So, what a difference a few chapters in the Bible make!!! By 1 Samuel 19, Saul and David's relationship has no evidence of what it used to be. Now Saul is running around with spears, hunting down David, while this particular son of Jesse is running for his life!! And we aren't even mentioning how taxiing this unhealthy relationship with his now father-in-law had to be on David's marriage to Michal. Thankfully for David in this case, her allegiance to her man took precedence over honoring her father.

This story leads me to think about the relationships we have in our lives. How many times do we allow our once healthy relationships to turn sour....where they almost become unrecognizable to us? We may know we are at an unhealthy juncture...but we are so enraged with sin, we don't have the capacity to remember what drew us to the person in the first place-like in Saul's situation with David. Now, sometimes relationships change due to circumstances in our lives. But when "jealousy, spears, and evil spirits" come into play, then it is obvious you have something you need to address with one another. While David was running away from Saul, I just wondered if he ever thought "What happened to us, Saul???" or maybe "I know you once 'had my back' Saul, but this is ridiculous!"

So...I am left pondering Saul once again. I do see many similarities with Saul and myself. I don't want to. He just is sooooo good at showing his humanness...and of course, highlighting his behavior due to his own personal evil spirit. I want to be better about loyalty, allegiance, and over all commitment than Saul. I want to contribute to relationships in my life without carrying a spear in hand. I want to live out my relationships like Christ. And I want to receive the forgiveness of Him and others when I fail.

Things I want for Christmas

Hobby Lobby has had their Christmas stuff out since June. Target and Meijer just hopped on the band wagon last weekend, as soon as Halloween was over. Being amongst all the ornaments, trees, and wrapping paper makes me want to sit on Santa's knee (if he can take the weight) and share with him what I will have on my Christmas list this year. It is a stretch from my normal "candles, Bath and Body Works, and TJ MAXX gift card" kind of list. It is a list from the heart. Impossible for Santa to deliver in his sleigh. Not impossible for God...although, thankfully, His gift-giving isn't limited to just December 25. The list is as follows:

1) A good authentic conversation with a friend. One that leaves you both exhilarated and exhausted at the same time. Been a while since I have had one of those. I eat those up...but it's been so long, my conversational bones are starting to show. Kind of gross, I know, but it's true.

2) To impact the life of someone who wants to know more about Christ. Giving each day to God with the expectation of Him using me right then and there.

3) One day lived without my sinful nature. That would be a gift to others as well. :) Oh, glorious day!

4) A way to let people know how much I truly love them...appreciate them. And have them receive it willingly. Talking about a little giving and taking here.

5) More time spent with all my grandparents. More conversations...more hugs...more opportunities to say thank you and I love you.

6) One body, one spirit amongst believers. Unity...plain and simple.

7) To bring encouraging words and a hug to someone who truly needs it. At the right time, and the right place.

8) To know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am doing all I can to invest in the lives of my girls. Am I helping them to develop into the future women God wants them to be? Am I laying the proper "groundwork?"

9) To hold my dad's hand. To let him know I am never too old to need him in my life. To share with him my heart on so many things.

10) To have the things that God desires me to have. To listen to His voice. To have wisdom...to be without distraction...to be close to Him.


I can just imagine the look on Santa's face as I step away from him after sharing my list. Whew!! What happened to Barbie and Fisher-Price toys???Bet he is wishing he never asked the question "And what do you want this year from Santa, little girl???"

Scandal in the Hesterhouse

I'm meeting a man in a hotel this weekend. He is a mysterious man and one whom I long to sneak away with. I have thought about him all week....my mind distracted by images of spending time with him. I talk openly about him with my husband. He knows all about him. He realizes I am going to see him, and there is nothing he can do to stop it. He is well aware that my thoughts have been centered around my rendezvous this weekend. He notices the smile on my face...the twinkle in my eye. I just can't hide it anymore.

The busyness of our lives has gotten in the way of feeling connected with my husband. We don't talk like we used to...spend much uninterrupted time together. So many things have gotten in the way of that. It's just not working anymore. It's what forces me to throw my inhibitions aside. It's why I just have to get away with the other man. I just feel so "alive" when I am with him.

I know others may judge me...but I don't care. They don't understand what draws me to this man. He is sensitive, caring. He listens to me. Makes me feel important, valuable. When we are alone, there is no one else in the world but us. Chaos could ensue around us, candidates could be elected whom we didn't necessarily vote for, gas prices could fall to $1.91 and we wouldn't notice. We are just that into each other.

If I could sneak away with this man more often, I would in a heartbeat. There is never enough time to be with him. There are so many "hoops" we must jump through to see one another. Sometimes, in the middle of the day, when my thoughts are all about him, I will evade my daily duties for the moment and text him a message for his eyes only. No one else has to know. My heart leaps when I hear my cell "chime" with announcement that I have received something back from him. It gives me sweet butterflies in my stomach.

I'm not stupid. I know this weekend won't last forever. I know that I will return to my cluttered calendar life once again....this "albatross" that keeps me from my love. In our encounter this weekend, I will ask him...beg him..."When can we see each other again?? This is just so hard. I don't know how much longer I can be without you." He will tell me that I have to be patient, let him get his life in order, remind me how much he is worth the wait. I will concede my emotions for yet another time...and hope beyond hope that we will be with one another again soon. I must be incredibly grateful for the time we have had together, and cling to the memories. And for a moment I will feel a kinship with Bill Shakespeare himself as he so eloquently penned the words of my heart over 400 years ago.... "Parting is such sweet sorrow."

**Side note- Just to clarify...this "other man" is my husband. :) After Gregg read this, he thought it would be important to mention this....just in case you had any doubt. :)