Keen on the Kindle?

Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book?
It took me years to write, will you take a look?
It's based on a novel by a man named Lear
And I need a job, so I want to be a "kindle"back writer,
"Kindle"back writer.
"Kindle"back writer...writer....writer.

-The Beatles


OK....I hate to admit this....but Oprah is on my TiVo schedule. Save your hate mail for later. :) I know I am an abomination to all that is pure and holy. But seriously, I don't watch everything that she has on. In fact, most of it, I just simply delete. I can tell by the title description of the show that it is something I just don't need in my brain, if you know what I mean. But earlier in the week, she had on her "Must Have Gadget Show" and because she introduced me to the wonder of SPANX, I just had to watch.

Much to the dismay of all paperback and hardback publishing companies, Oprah's praise for the "gadget of all gadgets" right now is the KINDLE. A kindle is a electronic device where you download all of your books onto it, instead of buying a paper version. You can buy the books in kindle form off of Amazon.com and they are apparently cheaper than their paper counterpart. It can hold up to 200 books as long as they are not illustrated. Imagine removing 200 books from the square footage of your home!!! Now that would really clear off the dusty bookshelves of the Hesterhome!!!!




Here is the Wikipedia definition of the Kindle for those electronic gurus in my audience who just couldn't stand my elementary description of the gadget:

Kindle is an e-book reader—an embedded system for reading electronic books (e-books)—launched in the United States by prominent online bookseller Amazon.com in November 2007. It uses an electronic paper display, reads the proprietary Kindle (AZW) format, and downloads content over Amazon Whispernet, which uses the Sprint EVDO network. (I like mine much better. :)


Since I have now decided I don't want an iphone for my pending 40th, I was wondering if I might like the Kindle instead. It does take my love for books to a whole new level. However, I don't know a single person I could ask who happens to have one (besides Oprah that is, and we aren't that close). Yet, something in me says "no" to the Kindle. I enjoy my trips to the library too much, and I love getting to check out the likability of books for free. It is only those dreaded overdue fees that I could do without. Besides, having the feeling of a new book in my hand is such a thrill for me. Could I really do without the intoxication of the "new book smell" just for the sake of being "hip" with a Kindle?? At this point, I think not. I am completely content with my books the way they are. Guess that makes me adverse to new technology...but what do you expect?? I am old. I am going to be 40.

It's a thousand pages, give or take a few,
I'll be writing more in a week or two.
I can make it longer if you like the style,
I can change it round and I want to be a "kindle"back writer,
"Kindle"back writer

TLC's Real Simple is simply Real Complicated

Faith and I enjoyed a much needed break from 7th grade studying and homework yesterday afternoon, and planted ourselves squarely on the couch, as we got reacquainted with the DVR. I had read that the magazine "Real Simple" was premiering a new show on TLC, having to do with creative ideas on how to keep your life stress-free and organized. I once had a subscription to the magazine (expensive as it is), and enjoyed some of the unique ideas they share to eliminate clutter in the home, etc. I was excited in seeing what the show had to offer and how close it would resemble its paper counterpart.

Disappointment with the show hit me right off the bat. The opening segment shows a bunch of well groomed, not "real simple" people sitting on a couch reviewing who their new "victim", oops, I mean project is going to be. In the unfortunate likeness of "Extreme Home Makeover," the viewer is then thrusted into a mini van with these not so simple people as they continually discuss what is wrong with their "project's" life, and what they are going to do to fix it.

The subject of the show is a 40 year old married woman living in California. She has two kids under the age of 3 and she works full time. For some reason, she is stressed out. (OF COURSE SHE IS!!!!!) The RS team comes in to attack every area of her life....her mental state, her closet and what she wears, her kitchen and what she cooks, etc. They judge her for the ways in which she is handling the pressures of her life. They mock her stress level by making fun of her clothes. They laugh at the frozen food she serves her family at night. And above all else, they can't understand why she is not "opening up to them" about her life. So, they intend to forcefully make their way "in," by tricking her into playing Real Simple games that add even more stress to her complex world (i.e. making her plan a party with an hour's notice, and testing her ability to pick out a complete outfit from a rack of unfamiliar clothing in less than 3 minutes.) As Faith and I sat in utter amazement, we felt such pity for the woman. We wondered if she thought for a moment, "This is not what I signed up for. This is not making my life Real Simple."

I am going to keep "Real Simple" on the DVR schedule for a few more episodes. I want to cut the producers some slack and see if they can adjust the error of their ways. If the show continues to be a berating of those that are just "simply" asking for some "simplification" of their lives, I am done with it. It really wasn't what I was expecting it to be anyway.

The Family Secret

Easy-Off Oven Cleaner came over for a visit on Thursday, just as my Mom and G'pa Dan were heading this way from Michigan. So did Lime Away Shower Cleaner... along with a few squirts of Tilex in those really unmentionable places. Coincidental??? Hardly!!! You see, the big dogs of scrubbing, scouring, AND purification reemerge when my mom comes for a stay. They probably haven't been out since the last time she was here. With rubber gloves strapped securely to my hands, I go to work on the enormous task of trying to live up to the standards of the generations of women before me.... my mom and my grandma, that is. Their houses are always "showroom ready" and they always have been. I cannot accurately put into words just how hygienically pleasing their homes are. With each wave of the cleanser soaked sponge I ask myself, "How do they do it????" More importantly, "Why hasn't the family secret of having a completely immaculate house not been passed down to me??"

I call my sister when I need a break from the cleaning fumes and am having trouble breathing. She sympathizes greatly with my plight. She too has been left out of the secret. It remains solely and squarely with my mom and my grandma. I am wondering if that is where it will forever stay. My sister calls me as well, when she is in the midst of preparing her house for my mom's visit. In jest, we offer to come help each other groom our abodes for "white glove status," knowing full well we can't. We live 5 hours away from one another on a good day. We are the only ones who truly understand the devastation of being left out of the secret.

Now, why wouldn't you want to share the "coveted" formula of immaculacy with your progeny?? Wouldn't that secret be important to pass on to the generations of women behind you???? I know it is "privileged information," but I am blood for crying out loud!!!! Doesn't that count for something???

I have asked my mom point blank about the secret. She only smiles back at me and coyly responds, "I don't know what you are talking about." I even kicked things up a bit in my accusations this time. I wanted her to know I was "on to her." I told her that I knew about the "Cleaning Elves." She laughed suspiciously, "Elves??? What elves? I have no idea what you are talking about." I rebutted, "You have to have cleaning elves, Mom!!! How in the world do you do it otherwise??? Grandma has them too! Why can't Ang and I use them??? Please! Have mercy on us! We are moms with kids still at home for crying out loud. Why do you still need them?" Closing the door on the possibility of revelation, she simply utters, "I don't know what you are talking about. There are no elves." And there the secret stays.

So, under the cabinet in the Hesterkitchen sit Easy-off and Lime Away nestled close beside their friends, the Rubber Gloves. They laugh in hysteria as they know the secret too. They enjoy their siesta and will sleep soundly until the next time Mom and G'pa Dan head south from Michigan. In the meantime, I will check on craigslist and ebay to see if any one is trying to get rid of their cleaning elves, when I wish I could just inherit my own.

Nocommentaphobia- the Phobia of Commenting on Blogs

I follow Target Addict (target-addict@blogspot.com) pretty faithfully. She shares a common obsession, oops..I mean healthy love, for Target like I do. It is neat to see all the things she highlights on her blog with true Red Bulls eye adoration. I learn about certain items I didn't even know Target had, and she always picks out the coolest stuff to talk about. I just totally dig her and her site.

There is another camaraderie we have with one another besides our love for Target. Our blogs are laced with nocommentaphobia...much like sent letters that were laced with Anthrax back in 2001, and we are having trouble removing it. We both rarely have comments on our blog entries. She writes everyday about something Target-related, and can go weeks without a comment. Yet, she continues to write faithfully. I wonder if she ever feels like she is solely writing to Al Gore himself, whom, of course, invented the Internet with his brain tied behind his back. How she keeps on writing without feeling discouraged, I do not know. I might have to ask her some time....in one of my comments undoubtedly.

I, on the other hand, have the misfortune of writing to my "readership" from the heart. I don't have the luxury of writing about trivial (or not so trivial) things like Target, because I am sick. I am sick with a disease of transparency and other junk like that. I couldn't write just about Target if I tried. And believe me, I would love to. Instead, I bare part of my complex soul for everyone to see, in hopes that it might encourage another to know they are not alone in some of the battles they may face. Because of my readership's nocommentaphobia, I must endure the unknown of assuming that someone out there was touched, but just couldn't overcome their fear of commenting about it. And that's OK.

Now, some blog-writers are inundated with comments. I am not sure why one blog generates more comments than another. The topics really don't seem that different from blog to blog. It may be because their readership is simply free of the phobia...they've gone through the effort it takes, the 12 step program and counseling necessary to post away. Good for them!!

This post may even generate some comments of its own. The very subject matter may cause someone to conquer nocommentaphobia and throw caution to the wind. But I can't help but smile, because there is a strong chance that the comment number will stand at zero...maybe for spite...maybe just to prove a point. Either way, know that I love you anyway....and "Jesus is friend of mine." (Remember that little video??? Now THAT generated a few posts.)

Is there hope for the Underdog?

It is not often that I make a chosen fool of myself and not feel embarrassed about it afterwards. But Saturday morning, as I watched Hopie play her 6th soccer game with her team sitting firmly in last place, I couldn't help but cheer like a crazy woman. I am sure strangers behind me, even friends for that matter, judged me as lunatic material. I didn't care. You see, my daughter's team was tied 3-3 with the "yellow" team. Certainly you have heard of the yellow team. The yellow team is made up of star quality players on it....in fact, many. They mauled our poor little team the last time we played them 10-1. It was one of those games when you just begged the sky to open and shower torrential rains upon the field to end their misery. It was so painful to watch. But this tied game, on the other hand, was such a joy...pay back if you will...that there was NO WAY ON EARTH I was going to "curb my enthusiasm."

I guess if I were completely honest with you, there was a part of me that wished I could push a pause button on the game and explain to the crowd (now watching me instead of the game) for just a few moments why I was so charged about this game. I have been occupying a lot of space in the Underdog category of life right now. There are many "games" that I go out to play, with team uniform and all, where I don't win. I have been in the loser's bracket for some time now, and it gets exhausting. I feel like I am losing at the game of trying to keep my daughter prepared for all of her academic challenges in 7th grade. I am leading my team to defeat when I can't keep all up with all I should be doing as wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter, etc. There are things in my life where I am "occupying" failing space, that I can only share with my husband. It is safe, because he can identify with them too. So, in explanation to the crowd around me, I would have had to scream at the top of my lungs, "THIS SOCCER GAME CHARGES ME UP....BECAUSE FOR ONCE, I AM WITNESSING THE UNDERDOG MAKING AN IMPACT. GO GREEN!!!! Now, watch the game instead of me, ya hear!!!!"

Someone who is feeling rightful "Underdog" status currently is John McCain. At this point in the election, when we are just 13 days out, things have taken a negative turn for him, and according to Drudge this morning, he is sitting 10 points down. If Obama doesn't win, I don't know what else he could have done differently. He's had Bruce Springsteen concerts, the View, Oprah, Colin Powell, millions upon millions in donated campaign money, a house in downtown Groveport with an enormous sign plastered to the front, kisses from archenemy Hillary Clinton, botox from Joe Biden, candle votives with pictures of him looking like Jesus, the "W" movie, his own cable channel....the list could go on and on. He is sitting very pretty right now. He may be sitting very pretty for the next 4 years, and this may be something I will have to get very used to. If Americans sympathize closely with how Tina Fey feels about having to play Sarah Palin for the next four years on SNL, Obama is a shoe in.

I know there have been a lot of football movies about being the underdog. There has even been a movie about Underdog being the underdog. Maybe John should spend a few moments during his down time on the campaign trail to catch a few of these flicks. Maybe this might energize him as the Election finish line is in clear view. If I could speak with John, I would ask him to fight for his political life like he did when he was a POW. I would want him to know that many are praying about this election....and are confident that God's Will will be done either way. That is coming from the lips of a true underdog. "There's no need to fear, Underdog is here."

College Roadtrip

Funny how things from the past can come to the forefront of your mind when you least expect it. I'm not sure if that is a tool of Satan's in his masterful way of accusing, or just God's sweet way of saying "Look how much I have done in your life." Sometimes it is difficult to tell initially.

Last Thursday night, I got an unexpected email through Facebook from my roommate in college. We haven't spoken in 18 years...not because of a falling out...just because of life, I suppose. It was a bit of a shock to hear from her, yet it was exciting to hear some of the things that have taken place in her life since our carefree college days. When I sat down at the laptop to formulate my response, my mind had trouble narrowing down exactly what to say. There has been SO MUCH that has taken place in my life since college....the most important being God. I mean, honestly, where do you begin? I could tell her about marrying Gregg....I could tell her about all the moves we have made due to Gregg's career...I would most definitely tell her about our babies...but what about the "real" stuff of the last 18 years?? The person who closed our dorm room door behind her for the last time in 1991, is forever gone. How do you narrow the gap of time with just mere words? Would it be right to leave out the most significant change that has occurred in my life the last 18 years? And how strange would it be for her to hear about my life now with God, when her only memories of me would clearly be of someone who did not know Him at all?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Two days later, Gregg and I worked the OSU/Purdue Football game. Our church has a concession booth where a portion of our sales goes to missions. We do this every year together, and have a fun time doing it. But there is something that ALWAYS happens to me when I work these games. (And as I begin to think how I will describe this to you, I wonder if any of you can relate.) Being at the OSU game throws me obviously smack dab in the middle of the college scene--that completely self-centered time when you foolishly believe the world truly revolves around you. I see surrounding me once familiar attitudes and actions, and it is disturbing for me to revisit those. I see my "once absorbed" self in almost every college girl that walks up to our counter....whether inebriated or sober. I imagine what it would be like to have a "heart to heart" with these girls...to let them into my life...give them a glimpse of the things that I have been graciously forgiven by God for...to share with them The Answer to the inner turmoil they are trying to escape. As I slide their super nachos with cheese and an overpriced Coke across the counter, I would love to ask them "Would you like God with that?" I serve at the game with a willing heart, yet walk away with incredibly sore feet and waivering thoughts of wishing I could have touched just one life while I was there.

As I pull the covers tightly to me in my bed after a long day of Brutus dogs and salted pretzels, I have concerns that all this recent brain inundation of college stuff might intrude upon my sleep life. I ask myself if these feelings mean nothing, or could they be indicative of something more. Surely, I do believe I am forgiven for my incredible stupidity of the past. God, in all His grace and mercy, has released me of those chains. But why can't I go to these games, or be contacted by a former roommate without having to "go back to college" in my mind?

Life will go on...and except for the transcript of my blog, I will probably forget that I was dwelling upon these things. That is, of course, until the next round of accusations come from the father of lies. What's most important here is giving God the honor and praise for taking a gray, lumpy piece of clay, and molding it and shaping it into something beautiful. How I long to see the finished product someday!!!!

"Hard to put down" Guarantee

Several weeks ago, while dwelling in the Land of Polaris, I walked into the Lifeway Christian Bookstore, looking for the new Beth Moore "David" Journal I was getting ready to start. I had read in a flyer that it was on sale, and I am always interested in the words "On Sale." Now, I don't go into Lifeway very much. We don't have a great relationship. It almost consistently disappoints me. It rarely has the particular item I am looking for, and their employees' warm greetings are always followed up with a "We don't have that item, but we can order it for you." My internal response is usually "That's what Amazon is for," but for some reason I don't think that would be too Christ-like.

About the only good thing regarding Lifeway is the opportunity to peruse the New Book section. Although I do try to keep current on all the lastest and greatest, sometimes something new doesn't make my radar screen. So, with my handy dandy notebook (oh...remember that?? Blues Clues seems ages ago) ready to go, I copy down every book title that remotely seems interesting to me. Then I go home and check the library website to see if our library carries it. (Now, if I had an iphone...I could just check it right there.)

Very little grabs me at the bookstore. I am too picky I suppose. There is just so much saturation in the Historical Fiction-Amish Department. Ever notice that?? But I did find one that definitely piqued my curiosity. And I have enjoyed it ever since I got my hands on it. The book is entitled "The Almost True Story of Ryan Fischer" by Rob Stennett and it is absolutely hilarious. Here is how Publisher's Weekly puts it:


"Screenwriter Stennett offers a satirical look at a non-Christian's ascent to pastor of a megachurch in this engaging, highly readable novel. Ryan Fisher is a 28-year-old real estate agent who doesn't believe in God, but lists himself in the Christian Business Directory (along with a Jesus fish symbol) to beef up sales. He and his wife, Katherine, attend church to validate his new religious image, where he sees the possibilities of utilizing business principles to create his own megachurch. They move to Bartlesville, Okla., and create "The People's Church" where Ryan preaches a feel-good, do-good gospel ("I'm not encumbered by things like the Bible and Jesus"). As church numbers swell, Oprah calls, local pastors are on the warpath, a religious fanatic plots Ryan's assassination, and Katherine is smitten with Cowboy Jack, a karaoke singer-turned-worship leader who pens Christian lyrics to popular radio tunes. Is Ryan in over his head? Interesting narration and Dave Barryesque footnotes make this humorous entertainment with a faith-based message."


The genre of Satirical Christian Fiction is very small. I think a lot of people can't imagine putting those two concepts together. I wonder if that is why you never see any Christian comedy shows on TBN. (That comment is supposed to be my own attempt at satire. Can you tell?) Anyway, I haven't given the Hesterwoman "No-Money Back" guarantee since Riven by Jerry Jenkins. But this one receives my "You will laugh out loud when reading this" seal of approval. Let me know what you think.

Cameron Interviews Hesterwoman on "Fireproof"

In effort to know exactly how the average "almost 40" year old, Christ-following woman, living in Midwestern suburbia, is receiving the movie "Fireproof," Kirk Cameron "contacts" the Hesterwoman for an interview. Although she doesn't fit the word "average" in any way, Cameron can't find anyone else who is willing to go through his scrutinizing questions. So without further ado, here is a snippet of the interview.

Cameron: What made you want to see my movie "Fireproof?"

Hesterwoman: Well...I just loved you in Growing Pains back in the 80's and wanted to see if you had aged as nicely as I have.

Cameron: Any time something has an inspirational or a faith-based message, people tend to thing it will be "hokey" or "second rate." Did you think that of "Fireproof" after seeing it?

Hesterwoman: In all honesty, not really. I thought it was excellent. There were just a few minor "hokey" parts, but I can easily overlook them. I thought it was stronger than "Facing the Giants" as a whole. I know the movie was meaningful to me, as its message continues to resonate days after I have seen it.

Cameron: How did you prepare for the role of seeing the movie?

Hesterwoman: Well, this was a "dinner and a movie" night for me and my husband, so I tried to look nice for him...put on a little "Bath and Body Works" Cherry Blossom Body Spray. It's not often that we get to go out together, so as you can see, I pulled out all the stops.

Cameron: Being happily married for so long, was it difficult to relate to the material?

Hesterwoman: Not at all. In all honesty, I found it difficult to handle at times. In fact, I could have easily "cried buckets" after seeing it, because it reminded me of a difficult season in my own marriage. And it made me feel so grateful to God for His ultimate gift of restoration and healing.

Cameron: Did you know I have a clause that I don't kiss other people than my wife in my movies? What do you think of that?

Hesterwoman: I think that is both wonderful and honorable. I never thought about the fact that you might need to kiss your on screen wife in the movie. I know that is crazy. I mean, after all, this is a movie about marriage. But I appreciate the message this sends to all of us.

Cameron: Being that you love books, I was wondering if you knew that "The Love Dare" is a real book. Do you plan on reading it?

Hesterwoman: I don't know. I hadn't thought about it before. Maybe I will talk to Gregg about it.

Cameron: I am hoping people will go see "Fireproof" because it's a great movie. I'm hoping at the end people will say, "I felt there were times when I felt like I was looking in a mirror." I hope they pick up a copy of the book, "The Love Dare," and start practicing the things in it. Anyone can pick it up and see a huge change (in their marriage). I believe that one person fully submitted to God and his Word can turn a marriage around. Have you found this to be true personally?


Hesterwoman: From my own experience, I know that God is the God of Healing. He can take something that looks completely hopeless and make it so incredibly beautiful.

Cameron: Does it ever embarrass you to be transparent about the struggles you and Gregg have gone through?

Hesterwoman: I have moments of confidence with this, and then I have moments when I am uncomfortable with it. When I think of all the couples who might benefit from knowing there can be very REAL struggles in marriage and how God can bring genuine healing out of that, I want the world to know. However, when I allow the enemy to blast me with shame and lies, then I want to keep the reality of our story to myself. Would I like to be a woman who has never had serious issues in marriage? Yes...a million times..YES!!! But I am not. It is a part of my "God-story," and telling it brings Him honor and glory.

Cameron: Do you think only Christians would enjoy "Fireproof?" Is it too "religious?"

Hesterwoman: Not at all. I think this movie would resonate well with anyone who would see it. To me, it promotes excellent discussion afterwards between you and your spouse. And because your character Caleb, is not following Christ in the beginning of the movie, the writers did an excellent job of illustrating the battle one faces in trying to avoid the subject of God in their lives.

Cameron: Do you think it would ever be possible for me to outgrow "Growing Pains?" I mean, why do people always have to associate me with Mike Seaver?

Hesterwoman: Don't look at it as such a bad thing. I know you are trying to get away from the whole "shoulder pads, parachute pants, and mullet" look. But your time on Growing Pains may be one of the very reasons couples who grew up during the 80's might come and see the film. As a teen friend of mine always texts "Embrace the struggle," Kirk. Listen...I gotta go back to mothering and all. If there is anything more you need to know, call my agent.

Cameron: Thank you, Hesterwoman. Thank you for your time and more importantly, your insightful answers during this interview. It has been a "true" honor learning more about you. I am so moved that you thought so much of "Fireproof." Now I know all my efforts in making this movie were well worth it.

Look for "Fireproof" to come out on DVD early next year if you aren't able to get to the theaters...or don't live near one where it is showing.

Birth Order Blues

I became fascinated with "Birth Order" when my dad got me a book on the subject for Christmas many years ago. Since then, I have speculated and hypothesized the birth orders of people around me, in hopes of figuring them out. I have placed stereotypical "cookie cutters" upon them based on the order of their births. Sometimes they fit, and in rare cases they don't. I am sure this habit of mine has become annoying to some. I apologize for that. It's just that I have always had this problem with the question of "why"...."Why are things this way," and "Why does this person behave that way?" Birth order tends to appease my inquisitive cravings. And it has helped me understand myself a lot better along the way.

So, if I have ever talked on this subject with you before, you can just imagine how much I have babbled to Gregg about it over the years. Poor guy. I was so excited last week when I learned that Focus on the Family was doing a radio special with "Mr. Birth Order" himself, Dr. Kevin Leman. I just couldn't wait to share it with Gregg. I thought it would be helpful information in how to better parent our first and second borns. I always appreciate when we both have the same parenting information in our brains. Makes things a lot more consistent, I find. So, I downloaded the podcast, and asked Gregg to listen to it when he had the chance. (Whenever that would be!)

Gregg has always taken pride in his birth order. He is the middle child, between two girls and the only son. They are all four years apart. Gregg finds his birth order to be the most pleasing of all birth orders. From having to listen to me over the years, he knows that his middle born tendencies make him a prime candidate for being easy to get along with...a compromiser...a pleasing personality. First borns, in his opinion, and according to Dr. Leman as well, tend to be bossy....have to have their own way...want to steer the ship themselves...think there is only one way of doing things, and its their way. He has enjoyed his more than fair share of jabs over the years at first borns and their seemingly strong personalities. He feels he is an expert on the subject because he is married to one.

So, to my surprise this afternoon, Gregg took the ipod out to listen to a few podcasts while mowing the lawn. Now, we have a pretty big yard. So there is PLENTY of time to listen, digest, and reflect upon certain meaningful podcasts. As I was wiping the counter in the kitchen, he came in from mowing the lawn, and simply said very sincerely, "I'm sorry." I turned around and looked at him. I pondered what he could possibly be saying sorry for. I thought of all the subjects that were covered on the podcasts this week. Could it have been something on the marriage podcast? Sure...there is ALWAYS something you can apologize for in marriage. But then there was that one on cancer? Yikes! Was there something he had been meaning to tell me but couldn't? Or was it the one on using your God-given gift set? No...I think he is does well with that. Hmmmm....I was stumped.

He proceeded to say, "I'm sorry for being first born." I looked at him quizzically. I have known him for almost 25 years, and the last time I checked, he had not been promoted to first born status. He explained that by having listened to Dr. Leman's podcast, he realized that he himself had some of those horrible first born tendencies and was "dreadfully ashamed." My heart went out to him.....kind of, sort of. The funny thing about it was I felt pretty certain he had some first born tendencies...but I didn't dare tell him about it. He enjoyed making fun of us too much.

His apology intrigued me. But we didn't have time to dig into it deeper, because the girls needed to be picked up from school. The first born in me selfishly didn't want to pick up the girls, so I suggested that Gregg do it. After all, I have to do it all the time. The least he could do was pick them up just this one time for me. But I couldn't let him go by himself. I was too interested in hearing the explanation behind his second born apology. So, I sacrificially offered to go with him. I could ride right beside him, pressing and probing for more details to the reasons behind the "I'm sorry." Please join me in the conversation already in progress in our 2001 "Too many miles already" Red Caravan.

Amy: Why did you apologize in the kitchen?

Gregg: Well, I realized in listening to that Leman guy that I have been acting first born like sometimes....especially when it comes to demanding perfection out of our girls. I don't like it. It scares me.

Amy: Well, honey, I hate to admit this to you, but I think you are right. I see it now, more than I ever have.

Gregg: I know...I see it too. I don't know why that is. Do you?

Amy: I am really not sure. I just know it is there. What do you think?

Gregg: Honestly, in all seriousness, I think it is because of you. You are rubbing off on me. It is my constant exposure to your first born-ness.

Amy: What??? You can't be serious! You think I am the reason for your first born characteristics? Come on!!!

Gregg: Well, how would you explain it otherwise?

Amy: I would explain it like this. You are the only male son in your family. According to Dr. Leman, you will have first born tendencies for that very fact. Besides, I will have you know that I think my "first born-ness" has subsided over the years.

Gregg: I would agree with that. Why do you think that is?

Amy: I am learning how to become more and more submissive, that's why. I am mastering this whole Proverbs 31 thing.

The funny thing about the Hestercouple is it seems we can move in and out of a subject very quickly. Just as the conversation REALLY started to get good, we began driving through a school zone and had to drop to 20 mph. That started us complaining like two octogenarians on how ridiculous speed zones can be when the school is sitting a mile from the road. So, our in depth dissection of birth order was now over...at least for the time being.

In all seriousness, I think what we mutually learned from the Leman podcast still stands. We need to be careful in demanding too much perfection out of our girls...especially in the line of school work...and possibly concerning Tuesday's excavation of Hopie's room.

So...do you think your birth order effects how you relate to people? Does it play a role in your marriage dynamics? Do you think it penetrates how you parent?