Connecting with "Joe Cool"

I hope this would not classify as polygamy, but I have been married to two men for 17 years. I really only want to be married to one of them. But sometimes when Husband #1 calls from work, Husband #2 grabs the phone away from him and starts talking in this lower, much deeper voice, dripping with tones of "I am too macho to be talking to my wife, because there are too many other pilots around me" all over it. Over the years, I have admonished Husband #2 (appropriately known as "Joe Cool") when he gets on the phone because he is NOT the person I want to talk to. I want to hear Husband #1's sweet voice on the phone, telling me how much he loves me, how much he misses me, and how he can't wait to get home to see his "beautiful" wife. Instead, I get Tom Cruise mixed with a little "Goose" on the side. And I hate to break the news to you, Joe, but the glory days of "Top Gun" are so over and so are the Ray Bans!! You, #2 , have "lost that lovin feelin" and I really want you to go away. But alas, if you have been here for 17 years, you will probably be here for another 17 more.

The nice thing about Joe Cool is he never comes into the Hesterhouse. I have never seen him with my own eyes. He is a coward. He is only willing to talk to me on the phone. He is never willing to show his face. And now I must ask, how macho is that? Now hear this, Joe! I want my husband back!! Do you hear me??? Quit grabbing the phone from him while he is at work! Let the "sweet nothings" flow. Oh, how I can hear them now....."nothing...nothing....nothing." How sweet the sound!