Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow?


It's not often that The HesterMan and I have trouble in the communication department. For all our faults as a couple, there is one thing we have always been pretty good at...and that is talking with one another. We have never had to work really hard at how to approach one another with words...formulating sentences..carefully speaking diplomatically to one another. We have had to work really hard at other things, but not necessarily the "gift of gab." (That may be my gift...and his is the gift of listening. Your guess is as good as mine. :))

But our stellar communication skills went out the door recently when I asked Gregg to mail out our Christmas cards. If you have been following my blog at all (and who hasn't!!), you know what a thorn in my side these Christmas cards have been. They shouldn't be like that...but I have made it that way by waiting to the last minute to complete them. Right before we left for Michigan, I laid on my sick throne of a bed, and tried to complete as many as I could before growing faint and weary. (A little dramatic here, but people enjoy drama.) I sealed the last one with a sense of victory, knowing that the postmark would be the day before Christmas, and somehow that gets me in the window of punctuality. I handed the pile of cards to Gregg and said, "These need to be mailed before we leave." I was amazed that he didn't "throw a fit" about going to the post office when we were supposed to be hitting the road momentarily. I chalked it up to the wonderful serving nature of my husband, and moved onto the next task to get us out the door and on the road.

Fast forward a week later, and I am approaching my mailbox at midnight, having just returned from a Youth Event at church. I couldn't remember sending the girls out earlier in the day to retrieve the mail, so I was pretty sure it was still in the box. And boy, was there ever!!!!! In the darkness of the night, I pulled a card out of the mailbox that had stamped upon it, "RETURN FOR POSTAGE." "Oh," I thought to myself, "the stamp must have fallen off this one." Not good, but I will just stick another on it, and beg for mercy from its recipients later. As I reached in to get the rest of the mail, I felt a bundle of mail held together tightly by a rubber band. "What on earth is this?" I muttered in the blackness of midnight. Imagine my "horror" when I realized it was all of our Christmas cards....WITHOUT STAMPS ON THEM. Gregg had followed my instructions to a "t," never noticing that when I had handed him the bundle a week prior, the cards had no stamps on them AND THEY STILL DIDN'T!!!

I wanted so desperately to wake him up when I walked into the house with the bundle under my arm. I couldn't figure out how he didn't notice there were no stamps on these things. I approached our bedroom with the soundtrack of his snoring in the background, ready to shake him awake for an explanation. But it just wasn't worth it. It really didn't matter. There was nothing I could do about now. And who wants to be startled from a deep sleep while being attacked over silly stamps. It could wait until the morning. I was pretty sure I knew what happened anyway.

So, if you haven't received a Christmas Card from the Hesterfamily yet, it may be on its way shortly to a mailbox near you. If you never get one, accept this belated salutation from our family to yours, and know in our hearts that we wished you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!!

**Hestercouple New Year's Resolution #1- Mean what you say, and say what you mean. If you want him to go to the post office, TELL HIM. This home needs to be an "Assumption Free Zone." :)

Monday, December 29, 2008

Just call me "Oprah"....better yet...don't


Being sick in bed for 5 days gave me some time to think (between those dreaded "Gold" commercials and Sudafed fixes) about some areas in my life that need some work, or fine tuning, if you will. I feel like I have been in a season of being focused on everything else but the well-being of others. Candidly speaking, sometimes I see a need around me and I don't meet it. I think to myself, "Oh, I don't have time for that....it's someone else's turn to meet a need. Let someone else be blessed by serving once in a while." My heart for others has been tainted by my love of self. And I could feel it creeping over me like that dreaded flu bug. At times, I would ask myself, (You know those conversations you have with yourself in your head??....I know you do)"What's wrong with you? Why have you lost desire to meet needs around you? What are you doing with the time God has given you?" The answer to those questions just kept pointing me back to a place of selfishness...and it is an ugly place to be.

Focusing on yourself can lead to a depressed introspective state of mind. Have you ever noticed that? On the flip-side, when you give of yourself, there is little time to concentrate on petty things that can occupy your thought life. God created us to give ourselves away. You and I have only one life. How are we using the days in which God has given us?

Maybe it's because it is the first of the year. Maybe it's because I am turning 40. Maybe it's because I am sick and tired of being motivated to serve myself. But I got to thinking that I really need to challenge myself in 2009 to give away what God has given me...my energy and my resources to meet the needs of those He puts in my life. It is exciting to be part of the action in what God is doing!!! Why on earth have I been sitting on the sidelines???

So...I want to propose this challenge to you. This is what I have been thinking. I wonder if you would join me in meeting the needs of one person every week in 2009. Here's what that means: Simply looking around you and serving someone that God has placed in your path that week. It could be absolutely anything. There are no limits. There are no criteria. It may be making a meal for someone. It may be taking an elderly neighbor out for dinner. It may be calling someone you know who has been struggling with something big in their lives. It could be watching a couple's kids, just so they can reconnect with one another. Absolutely anything!! God will make it known. And when you are done, you will have served in 52 different ways!!!!! How cool is that???!!

I so want to do this!! And I would love to have the accountability of others doing this around me. It would be so wonderful to share in the excitement of serving!!! I have also thought about keeping a journal for the year....not to record "look what I did" but "look what God did!" With my poor memory, it would be a helpful tool.

Maybe you don't feel like you are struggling with "me-itis." If so...disregard. But if you can relate to anything here that I have shared, and you would like the challenge of sharing the gift of serving with a few others, you can simply comment right here. And together, we can be the hands and feet of Christ in a new and unique way!!! Will you join me?

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry, Merry Christmas to you!!!

Monday, December 22, 2008

THIS wasn't on the "to-do" list!



I've been in bed for the last three days. Totally unexpected. I hadn't made room for this on the still ever-growing "Must do before Christmas" list. There was no lee-way, no give nor flexibility, no room for sickness on the to-do list. I had successfully arranged things that must be done down to the minute before we celebrated Christmas with my extended family, and now my "well-designed" plan has been foiled. Of course, the Christmas cards are still untouched, the Christmas cookies I made to give our neighbors still lay wrapped on the counter...and I am totally embarrassed to admit this, but I have a few more gifts yet to buy. I am in no shape to do any of these things. I am in really no shape to be writing either...but it is 2am...and I am tired of the tv.

Speaking of the tv, have you noticed how much you pay attention to cold and cough commercials when you are sick?? Man, there are A LOT of options out there!! I lay in my bed, looking painfully at the television screen, wishing I could somehow "will" the medicine to me. I know I am too sick to move from my bed to go out and get some. Which lends these thoughts....Why don't they allow some sort of delivery service for OTC meds?? If I can call and have pizza delivered in as short as 45 minutes, why can't someone bring over some Sudafed???

Some people swear by Nyquil. I know my husband does. I am so jealous of him when it comes to that. I can't take it. It has just the opposite effect on me. Although he rarely needs help in the sleep department, I can't take Nyquil because it makes me have a night of very restless, in and out of consciousness, very strange sleep. I would be an absolute fool to take it. Same goes for Tylenol PM. Whatever common ingredient that is in these things, I cannot have. I can't have caffiene after 4 pm either. Oh why, oh why must I be me????

We are supposed to celebrate the Hesterfamily Christmas this morning. Oh, how I wish I was healthy!!! My girls deserve a healthy mom to share in the wonderment of Christ's birth. Instead, I will sit on the couch with a blanket around me, incredibly scary hair, red nose, sunken eyes, more pale than normal skin, and force a smile as they open their gifts. They will want to hug me afterwards, but they can't, because we are SO MORTIFIED that anyone else in the family will get this bug. I cannot tell you the amount of times I have attempted to squeak out "Wash your hands" from this bed. I know Gregg has been singing that song into the ground too since Friday morning.

As I write this, I have decided that I am going to make an appt to see the doctor today. How I wish they still made house calls!!!! Although, if they did, my sick mind would probably encourage Gregg to clean the house before the doctor got here. And that would take a lot of work, because I have noticed that the girls have used this "down time" to do everything but pick up after themselves, make their beds, etc. I think it has been a little vacation for them to have me sick. Now, don't get me wrong, they are incredibly sympathetic to my plight. But I wouldn't be surprised if they have enjoyed the break from "me" a little bit.

I realize I have been a little wordy in the wee small hours of the morning. Be thankful you are only having to read this, and not hear it yourself. My voice is not my own. Come to think of it, my head and my sinuses are not my own either. I would gladly trade back what I had. Spending this time in bed has only confirmed the obvious to me. I enjoy interaction with people, I miss hearing from my friends, I miss talking with my sister everyday, and I haven't been able to use my allotted 5,043,403 words a day like I normally do. Thus, this incredibly long post at a ridiculously early hour in the morning.

Random thoughts:

-My husband has been very patient with me since I have been sick...a lot more patient than I am to him when he is sick. Why is that??

-I am amazed at the about of "Gold" commercials on tv. You know, "Send your miscellaneous pieces of gold you have laying around, we will melt them down, and send you a check for them. We will even give you an envelope to send them in." First of all, who has that much gold laying around?? And would you really take a risk and send it off in a envelope that's contents will be obvious to any hand that touches it? Maybe it is just me and my sick mind, but this seems outrageous to me.

-My husband did go get me some medicine and it has been a huge help. I am grateful for that. But I still need to go to the doctor. This is lingering too long. And my energy level is near empty.

-And for those of you who care, this is my 200 post of 2008. Kind of a neat milestone. I enjoy this hobby of mine, and I hope at times, you do too. Merry Christmas, dear ones. Merry Christmas.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Check Out Time is Promptly 2:15pm



I don't know about all of you in the great blogosphere, but it has become very apparent around here that the Hesterfamily is shutting down for Christmas Break a little too early. I have had an enormous desire to keep my girls home from school...call them in sick every day....just to have some extra time with them. I want to make cookies with them, wrap presents with them, play endless hours of the Wii with them, spend lazy stretches of time watching old movies with them, sip hot chocolate with them, and maybe even get them to help me with those Christmas Cards that haven't gone out yet. But alas, we still have so much left to do in the obligations of school department...and we get out tomorrow at 2:15. I just cannot wait!!! I feel so celebratory, I want to throw a gigantic party for our family and all our school-aged raising friends, who just might be feeling the same way we do.

Gregg and I have been trying to hide these early "checked out" symptoms from our girls...but I don't think it is working very well. We didn't want them to be infected by our contagion. Yet, we have been seeing signs as if they have caught the bug too, despite all the whispering, sighs, wimpers, and groans we have been making apparently not too privately. Guess it has been pretty obvious that we have wanted to officially call it quits in the effort arena of tasks and "to-dos" as well.

Since evidence shows with all high probability the girls have mentally "left the building," it has been difficult to challenge them to stay afloat until Friday at 2:15. It all comes down to the proverbial "Do as I say...not as I do" in reference to the behavior they seem to be witnessing in their parents. If Faith were to check out academically now, there could be huge ramifications for her come January. We don't want that for her...but we are having a hard time fighting this ourselves. How can we honestly expect it out of her? Hopie is another story. She can check out at this point in her academic career and not pay too strongly for it. Wish we could all be sitting in that catbird seat.

How about you? Where is your family sitting when it comes to anticipating Christmas break? How have you held the reigns in keeping your family task-oriented when everybody seems to be saying "Check, please!"

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Wii can't get enough


I have recently developed the ability to play the banjo, flute, and tuba all within a matter of minutes. Now, before you start thinking I am a musical protege' (like you even would), I'll share a little "ancient Chinese secret" (remember that commercial from the 70's??) with you. The girls got Wii Music this past weekend from their grandparents for Christmas, and we have been playing it ever since. I am moved to tears as I listen to them play "Please Mr. Postman," "Locomotion," and "Wake me up before you go-go." (That song is the one that produces the tears...yuck..yuck..and triple yuck!!) Not only that, but I have conducted my own orchestra (what an arm workout!) and played the hand bells with Hopie (more of a wrist workout here). This is just so much fun!!!

The girls have recorded their own CDs and created their own CD jackets. They are so adorable!!! Watching our large collection of Miis participating in various forms throughout the game is absolutely hilarious!!! I never knew our Miis had so much talent!!!

So, if you are looking for a last minute Christmas gift for the kids, you really should try Wii Music. I have been pleasantly surprised with the reaction the girls have had over this latest game in our collection. (BTW, our Wii collection is very limited. Donations can be made right here on the blogspot. :))

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Smile and say "Cheese"


You must know that I am behind in everything I am compelled to get done before next Thursday. There is no reason on earth I should be sitting with my laptop except for the sheer excuse of procrastination. I have a "to do" list a mile long, and just when I cross something off of it, another task mysteriously tacks itself to the bottom. It will not stop growing!!

I haven't sent a single Christmas card yet. Not even sure where they are right now. WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME?????!!!! I used to be so dedicated to this. I would spend hours formulating the right words and message to send in our annual Christmas letter. I would buy the girls matching Christmas outfits....make an appointment at a nice professional studio and have the Hesterfamily Christmas picture taken. Now, I find my mind drifting to questions of "Is it worth the headache? Can I really tolerate arguing with my girls over what they are going to wear...how I want their hair to look...if one has food in their braces in the picture...if they have both showered recently, etc." One of my girls nearly refuses to have her picture taken. Oh where, oh where did their "complacent" toddler years go??

I feel a self-induced pressure to get these Christmas cards out. Because we don't have the time nor energy nor patience nor unanimous desire to get our family's picture professionally taken, I had to search through the pictures we have recently taken on our own. Certainly, there would be something there we could use. Nothing...nada...zero...zilch...zippo...naught...that is, except for the one picture we had taken together on the BIG GAME DAY. (The Ohio State/Michigan game, if you don't live here) That is all we have!! And in that picture, Hopie is wearing a hat on her head!!!! Hardly anything comparable to what we used to send. Maybe people will get a chuckle out of the picture. Maybe people will take pity on me as a mom and realize I try...but I just can't win all my battles when it comes to daughter-rearing. Maybe they'll read my blog and this will be a head's up to them on the "less than quality" photo they will be receiving in their Christmas card this year. But, maybe, just maybe they have their priorities in line with that of our Father, and realize that it just doesn't matter what photo you stick in the card. They just want to see how much your kids have grown...and not so much how you have. :)

As much as I feel inadequate about my own portrait pickle, I must share how much I have enjoyed the pictures we have received in the mail thus far. They are beautiful and I marvel at the ways in which you were able to pull this off, fellow mothers. Maybe after all the craziness of the season is over, (that craziness is a topic for another post, I fear) we can schedule a breakfast or lunch together and you can tell me how best to accomplish this huge feat for next year. But whatever you do...please do not use the words "smile" or "say cheese," when we get together. I would so appreciate it.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Raking up the Leaves


I've been going through a little bit of a book rut lately. It has been a while since I have enjoyed the pleasures of reading a book I just cannot put down. And when I say "awhile," most of you might define awhile as one or two years. I define it as one or two months. I have a love/hate relationship with "can't put them down" books. I love to read them, start "sneaking" around for opportunities to digest them, and then I hate when I finish them. It's kind of like the anticipation of going on a date with your husband, and then feeling depressed when the date is over. The analogy may be a stretch...but it fits for me.

Last week, while searching the shelves of our library for a good book, I stumbled upon a "debut author" by the name of Nicole Baart. Without knowing a thing about her, I thought I would take a chance (I can be somewhat close-minded when it comes to an author I have never heard of) on the book and at least read the first couple of chapters. Before I knew it, not only had I read the first couple of chapters, but I finished the whole book. I LOVED IT!!!! I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT!!!

After the Leaves Fall strangely took me back to my college days at Western Illinois University and the dating years of my husband who was going to Iowa State at the time. Nicole does such a wonderful job of capturing the thought processes of a 19 yr. old college student. Her writing made me visualize my dorm room once again....living on campus...struggling through certain classes....the unknown of your future...the mystery of men....giving your heart away, etc. And she doesn't stop there!!! Thankfully, I just got my hands on Book 2 entitled "Summer Snow," which is a continuation of the first. I cannot wait to dig in!!!!

I have read offerings from debut authors before, and I have to say I couldn't find a single clue that indicated Nicole had never published before. After the Leaves Fall flowed very nicely from chapter to chapter and had just the right amount of "unknown and suspense." This book would gladly receive my "no money back" guarantee. :)

**PS- I just want you to know I am aware this post is not quality writing by the Hesterwoman. In the midst of trying to write this, I have had to break up an argument between my girls and answer my youngest's many questions about kitty liter. I hope you can accept my apologies. :)

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Jon and Kate plus 8= Nagging Wife


Maybe it's just me. But I cannot watch Jon and Kate plus 8. I cannot handle how demeaning Kate is to her husband. Am I alone in my observations?? I gave the show a shot a few years ago before it became the "sensation" it is today. I think it was coming on after one of the Hesterfamily's favorites, "Little People, Big World", so we just continued watching. I felt increasingly uncomfortable and uneasy in the ways I saw Kate interact with Jon. She seemed so hard on him...so belittling. I know it must be incredibly difficult to raise 8 kids. I mean, I only have two, and there are days when I just feel so very inept. But I couldn't bring myself to watch it again, because as a woman, I have to keep myself in check in the Respect, Honor, and Value Department of my marriage. Authentically speaking, viewing a relationship like Jon and Kate's isn't healthy for me. I was Kate (minus 8) in the formative years of our marriage and I caused a lot of damage. Being around that behavior is just too much of a temptation, and my husband doesn't deserve it. We both thrive in our relationship together when Proverbs 27:15 is not present. Been there...caused destruction with that.

I noticed recently that Zondervan just published an autobiography of sorts from the famous 10 pack. I have to admit I was surprised at this. Not that Zondervan would promote such a book, but that Kate would want them to. As much as this pains me to say...and I will appear very judgmental for doing so (I hate this, I am so sorry!!)...but I had no idea that Kate was a Christian. I didn't see anything resembling Christ in her relationship with Jon. Yes...I know it is TV....I know that I haven't followed it at all, so I should be keeping these thoughts to myself, even dismissing them, if you will. Yet, it seems like there should just be some hint of Christ between the two of them. Maybe TLC cuts out all the positive things Kate says about Jon. Maybe their relationship is a lot more interesting when there is disrespect and negative comments made. And I must admit that I don't know much about Jon. Maybe he is equally at fault. Maybe he is exactly that way to her and they both need to work on it. Since it has been so long since I have watched it, maybe her attitude toward him has improved. Maybe she is learning to love and respect him as the head of her incredibly large household. And just maybe I am looking at this too literally. After all, it is simply just a television show, right?? Or is it??

I think as women, this is an area in our lives that is soooooo weak. For some sinful reason, we can be naturally contentious, inherently belligerent when it comes to interacting with husbands. We can be so devoid of love and honor. We have no idea what it is like to listen to us day after day, week after week, year after year if we speak disparaging words consistently to our men. Then we wonder why they don't receive us like we want to be received...we question why they aren't "Knight in Shining Armor-like"....we demand better treatment all the while reciprocating their attempts with more combative and hostile words.

Do I get this right all the time?? Absolutely not. Do I let Gregg and God down by reverting back to my old ways? Sometimes, yes. But I will tell you that my relationship with Gregg is more spiritually intense (good thing), my love for him is deeper, and my heart for him is more grace-filled, since I got the message that God was so desperately trying to communicate to me in 1 Corinthians 13:4. And as a result, Gregg's love for me is completely different as well. I am telling you with all sincerity, if you are struggling with this in your marriage, God wants to help. He wants to teach you what it means to be your husband's cheerleader, his encourager, his Number #1 fan, his safe place of refuge after a really hard day. You cannot imagine the difference it will make in your life. Your marriage will not look the same. It will change so much for the better, it will be hard for you to remember what it was like before. You, your husband, and God will rejoice in the newness!!! It feels wonderful!! Just try it!!

Maybe, I need to give Kate another chance. Maybe I have been too hard on her. Maybe you can relate just a little of what I have talked about today. If so, know that I have been there, and I am cheering you on as you reevaluate how you love your husband. Think of it like this, "You and Hubby plus God= Great Marriage." Now that is a show I would love to see on TLC!!!

Monday, December 8, 2008

We interrupt this program to let you know that......




The Hesterwoman has parked herself firmly on "Writer's Block." Please send a tow truck, a policeman, a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, or something!!!! Let's move her on out of there!!! She's taking up too much space!!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

It's a beaut, Clark!!!"




Gregg and I have very limited experience when it comes to cooking a turkey, but this Thanksgiving we were able to pull it off quite nicely, I think. But I must admit I had visions of this scene from Christmas Vacation, before we pulled the turkey out of the oven.

By the way, my sister and I were just talking the other day about this movie and how funny it still is, even after seeing it, oh say, 57 times. It has become a contemporary Christmas classic....maybe not the same caliber as "It's a Wonderful life"...but pretty darn close.

Monday, December 1, 2008

A hunger for the "Old America"


With the recent soundtrack of "hope" and "change" in our country and the quest for a "New America," I must be among the minority who would prefer a restoration of the "Old America"- a time of drug store soda fountains, fishing in the old watering hole, barber shops, playing baseball in the street, riding your bike without a helmet, Boy Scouts, family picnics, and playing checkers with your next door neighbor. My heart longs for a simpler time of life, the one in which my parents and grandparents unknowingly enjoyed. But I know that will never be. My girls will never know what it is like to ride your bike to the local grocery store without fear of being abducted. They won't know the joys their daddy had as a child when he was gone for hours upon hours, just fishing by himself at the village pond. But they did get a sampling of life in the "good old days," when we visited the Ohio Historical Society's traveling exhibit of "Norman Rockwell's America" this past weekend.

We had the unique pleasure of walking through 15 life-like re-creations of some of Rockwell's most famous paintings from the Saturday Evening Post. In amongst the displays, the Society had people dressed up in period costumes to help enhance the exhibit's "realness," and add life to the ongoing story in which Rockwell is so famous for communicating through his art work.

At the end of the exhibit, we were lead to a room with framed replicas of all the covers Rockwell did for the Post. This was incredibly moving. I gazed at the pictures, while standing near my Dad, step-mom Linda, and my Grandma. I knew they were able to identify with the images they were seeing. Those images were taking them back to a place in time which was very familiar to them. My eyes filled with tears at a couple of the paintings. I wondered if they prompted emotion out of others as they did with me.

I'm curious if Norman Rockwell ever realized the contribution he was making to our culture with each painting he created. Did he know that his work would be used as evidence that our lives as Americans were once simplified and somewhat effortless? I am grateful for the opportunity to expose the girls to such a country as this once was....even if they find it difficult to find traces of unpretentious living in the Twenty-First Century.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

A Well-spring of tears in the Desert of Ziph


There are many times I have been brought to tears. Movies, commercials, serious situations, watching people walk through painful times, experiencing my own seasons of heartache. It is in my very nature to be weepy. And it is not always dispiriting things that bring out the urge in me. Times of rejoicing, celebrating victories, appreciation for people and God's provision can produce the same reaction within me. I am a complex being, created in the image of God. But as much as tears are a common part of who I am, I don't think I have ever been brought to tears by the Word of God. Is that a mark against my value of the Word, and how I am allowing it to penetrate my life?? I don't know. I just know that as I spent time in His Word the other day, I was startled by the reaction I had. Absorbed in what I was reading, I was startled by the feeling of unexpected tears on my face. For just a moment, I realized that God was sharing something with me that my heart needed to hear, and I was so moved by how it suddenly soothed my soul. Here is the scripture I was studying that day:


13 So David and his men, about six hundred in number, left Keilah and kept moving from place to place. When Saul was told that David had escaped from Keilah, he did not go there.
14 David stayed in the desert strongholds and in the hills of the Desert of Ziph. Day after day Saul searched for him, but God did not give David into his hands.

15 While David was at Horesh in the Desert of Ziph, he learned that Saul had come out to take his life. 16 And Saul's son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God. 17 "Don't be afraid," he said. "My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this." 18 The two of them made a covenant before the LORD. Then Jonathan went home, but David remained at Horesh.


1 Samuel 23:13-15


The words "helped him find strength in God" moved me so. As I felt the tears roll down my face, I heard the faintest sound of them hitting the collar of my shirt. The Word of God was producing emotion out of me. All this running David had to do from town to town, just to stay one step ahead of Saul. All the fear, all the unknown, all the visions of what it would be like if Saul actually got to him. The fatigue, the expelling of energy necessary to hold on to faith, the heartfelt cries of frustration to God, more fatigue. And then Jonathan shows up to "help him find strength in God." Not to remind him that he needed more faith, not that he needed to be more spiritual, not that he needed to seek God more, not that he was doing this thing wrong and that thing wrong. He came there to HELP!!!!!! Let me repeat. He came there to HELP!!!!!! Oh, to have someone walk along side you at just the right moment when all seems lost and remind you to "not be afraid." To speak truth over your life. To understand the situation for what it is, and to be aware that more strength would be needed at this time. How available Jonathan was!! How perceptive!! How selfless!!! It blows me away. I am near tears again!!!!

So with anything I read that floats amidst the neurons of my brain and hangs out in my heart for a while, I had to share this with Gregg. This was just too moving to keep to myself. Too challenging to leave alone. In the midst of having your life pursued with the strong possibility of death, Jonathan knew and understood how taxing...how draining this continued running from evil had to be on David. He was perceptive enough to feel it too. Gregg and I discussed what it means to be a Jonathan for someone. We also asked ourselves two questions:

1) How are we "Jonathan-like" in other's lives? Do we stand along side someone and help them find strength in God when the situation they are in has potentially drained them spiritually, emotionally, and physically? Are we listening to God's heart promptings, leading us to those that need it?

2) Are we open to being ministered to ourselves in a "Jonathan-like" way? Do we let people know when we are need someone to help us find strength in God when our tap is running low?


I wonder if you are aware of current "Jonathans" in your life right now? Who is walking along side of you, just simply to help you find strength in God when you need it most?

Monday, November 24, 2008

From the Mixed-up Chronicles of "BAD MOM"


It is only Monday morning, the beginning of a new week, and I have already securely pinned on the self imposed title of "Bad Mom" today. How I disdain bearing the title this early in the week!!!! I can handle it on a Wednesday if I have to....don't bat an eye if I slip it on Friday, but to don the title at this fresh point in the calendar rotation, I feel like I am dubiously sporting a Scarlet "B". In simple terms, I hate when I let my girls down. I get frustrated when I can't blame my failures on anybody but me. And that is where I am at this morning. The burden falls squarely here. This is where the proverbial buck stops.

I was supposed to get Faith up early to study for an English test. She was working on Pre-Algebra last night with Gregg and when it was my turn to take over, Faith was too spent and went to bed. I was secretly relieved. I am much better in the morning anyway. We could work on it then. This is the point in the story when "BAD MOM" makes her less than royal appearance. Instead of getting her up early, I spent time cuddling with Hopie...and praying with God. I know it sounds all sweet and spiritual...but I should have gotten my lazy cheeks off the couch. When I finally did get her up to study, we had about 30 minutes to pack it all in. She was stressed and I let her down. In the spare minutes we had, I tried to stuff "Schoolhouse Rock" into her brain, by having her sit and watch "Lolly, Lolly, Lolly get your adverbs here" over and over again on DVD. It was clear to me in just my few minutes of assessment, that adverbs were going to give her a run for her money on this test. She could have gotten so mad at me....but she didn't. I just knew I had disappointed her greatly, and therefore disappointed myself.

So here I sit at my computer wishing so desperately that I could ask for her forgiveness once again. Gregg will be disappointed with me too. That is a conversation I will have to save for later. We are a team...the Hesterfamily. And this player didn't carry her weight this morning. I didn't contribute to a win. I missed the goal...made a basket for the wrong team (actually did this once)...committed a penalty that set my team back. Hopefully, there will be someone standing on the sidelines with a blanket of grace to wrap around me and a mercy-filled bottle of Gatorade in hand. That is what I feel like I need the most right now. Hopefully, I have extended enough grace to my baby over the years that she knows how to give it right back to "Bad Mom." Our team could just volley that ball back and forth to one another. Guaranteed it will be needed for another day...another player.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

"Things" that are "overdue"


No one likes the word "overdue"....overdue bills, overdue books, overdue pregnancies, overdue notices, overdue recognition, overdue parking tickets, etc. But yesterday, while playing the game "Things" with some friends, I realized that I must have been long overdue in the laugh department, because I was laughing myself silly. It was so obvious. You know what I am talking about. It is that deeply buried, almost embarrassing laugh that comes from the recesses of your stomach and simply cannot be contained. It's the kind of laugh where you could fall out of your seat, roll around on the floor holding your aching side in a fit of hysteria, and still have it in you for more. Thankfully, I was with friends. They pardon this kind of behavior out of you...among other things. I don't need to throw in a disclaimer of why I so needed to laugh like this. They don't need a long explanation of why I was obviously "overdue" in the laugh department. They just accept it for what it is....carelessly unabashed fits of cackling...and they still love me afterwards.

Are you "overdue" in the laughter department??? Do you need to snort (someone did yesterday, and it wasn't me!!) , howl, or shriek with utter abandonment???? Then, I would suggest running to Target (who needs an excuse for that?), grab the game Things, and invite some friends over. Give them the gift of mirth and merriment. They probably need it too.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

GO BUCKS!!!!!!




***With apologies to all my family members in Michigan. I still love you. It's nothing personal. :)

Friday, November 21, 2008

Little Birdy....




A Classic Thanksgiving "dish" for this special holiday. It is a must have for everyone's table. :)

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Out into the cool of the morning strolls The Pretender


Last Sunday, we were driving to church when the first snow flakes began to reintroduce themselves to the skies of Ohio. There is something innocent and pure about the first snowfall. In November, people don't react as harshly to snow as they do in March or April. Everyone seems to give it a hospitable "hello" and a resounding "welcome back".... at least for the time being.

While looking out the window at the falling snow, Faith commented that we probably wouldn't have school the next day. Gregg and I looked at each other with extreme pessimism and collectively exchanged, "Oh yes you will. You already had two days off this year because of the wind storm. There's no way they are going to give you the day off tomorrow just because a few flakes are falling from the sky." As if our reply was much more than she bargained for, she hastily replied, "What's wrong with you guys? Can't you ever pretend anymore?" We looked at each other with a "Let me...oh please let me" expression on our faces, knowing how desperately each of us wanted to answer the question. But Gregg's words got out of the gate more rapidly than mine could. "No, Faith, we can't pretend anymore. We don't know how. We live in too much reality right now." I knew what he was referring to and I knew it would be years before she would ever understand how much an adult sometimes longs to return to the land of make believe and pretending. The boat left the pier long ago and has no instrumentation to return. That is just the way life is.

Faith's question echoed in my mind for a few days afterward. "Can't you ever pretend anymore??" I don't know. I guess I can't. I have forgotten how. What used to be so second nature when I was a kid has been replaced by the weight of reality. It's hard to believe I was ever proficient at pretending. There is very little trace of it now.

It's funny that Faith was the one to call us on the carpet about pretending. Unfortunately for her (and maybe for all of us too), her days of pretending are downright over. Being a newly christened teenager, with each day that passes, reality inches its way closer and closer to her. Hopie still has a few years left. But pretty soon the Hesterhouse will be filled with reality instead of sprinklings of pretenders here and there. I don't like the thought of that. In all "reality," I don't like that reality.

I think the next time it starts snowing, and the girls are hopeful of a potential snow day, I should jump aboard their "pretending bandwagon." How much harm does it really cause to be more optimistic? I think that is something I need to work on. Optimism is not the opposite of reality. It is just a better, healthier way of looking at things. It's the truth. I'm not pretending.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The Spice of Life


Trying to find a specific spice at the grocery store can seem like searching for a needle in a haystack at times. The search goes way beyond "parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme." You can stand before the spices for minutes upon minutes and still not find exactly what is on your grocery list. There has to be a better way of organizing them. That is exactly what I was thinking when I saw Steve staring blankly before the spices as well.

Grocery stores and deep conversations with customers seem to go hand and hand for me at times. I never know with whom or how I am going to strike up a conversation while I am there. When I saw Steve, a man in his 50's, gazing at the spices, I figured he was probably struggling to find something his wife had sent him in for. I asked him what he was looking for and mentioned how difficult it is to locate just the right spice these days. While searching for Celery Seed, he told me he was making stuffing this year for Thanksgiving, and how important this seasoning was for his recipe. I shared with him what a horrible cook I am, and how I have never made dressing in my life....that is outside of Stove Top, but I wasn't sure that really counted. He smiled and said how much he enjoyed cooking. Even did most of the cooking while his wife was still alive. Oh no...here I am talking about trivial things like spice placement, and he is preparing to celebrate Thanksgiving without his wife. He didn't seem to be that offended by my presence...wasn't giving me any cues to "get lost," so I decided to spend more time with him:

Me: How long has she been gone?

Steve: Since July 2007

Me: Was it cancer?

Steve: Yes, it was.

Me: I hate cancer. I am tired of it.

Steve: Do you work in the medical field?

Me: No, I don't. But I feel like it is all around me right now. I sub at my girls' school, and our art teacher has breast cancer. She is a friend of mine. Hard to see her go through it. She has been an incredible inspiration. It just makes me long for heaven, where all sickness will seize. You know what I mean?

Steve: I guess. I don't know. Do you really think so?

Me: Absolutely. I am looking forward to it.

Steve: She fought a good fight. A two year battle really.

Me: How long were you married? Do you have kids?

Steve: No. We were married for 7 years. (Tears begin forming in his eyes.)

Me: 7 wonderful years. I am so glad you had that together.

Steve: Hospice was incredible. They gave us the opportunity to just focus on the last days together, without worrying about everything else. I wish we had called them sooner, but my wife didn't want us to. I think she felt like that would be acknowledging that this was the end. But they did everything from walk the dog to getting her meds..and everything in between.



We talked for a little while longer. He handed me his card and told me about his business in Groveport. I apologized to him about the noise he must hear from my husband's plane everyday. He said he didn't mind, and how much he enjoyed watching them fly over. He thanked me for stopping to help him with the spices (help with which he didn't really need) and I wished God's blessings upon him. And then our conversation was over.

Of course, I spent the rest of my weaving in and out of aisles in a daze. I just couldn't get Steve's story out of my mind. I didn't anticipate this conversation as I was grabbing my cart and heading into the store earlier. I just never know what God is going to do while I am searching for Kraft Macaroni and Cheese or maybe Kellogg's Cocoa Krispies. I just know that when He does place a person in my life, I am incredibly honored and humbled.

Did I say anything that would lead Steve to know Christ personally? No. Unfortunately, I am not very good at that. Maybe I am just simply a seed planter...which doesn't allow me the privilege of celebrating someone who now knows Christ as their personal Savior. That's ok. I know God in all His wisdom knows exactly what is needed, when it is needed. I don't have to worry about those things. But I do need to pray for the person whom God has given me the opportunity to connect with, and be grateful for the time I had with him/her. And honestly, from my heart, I am so glad I got to spend some time with Steve among the spices...to have him share with me how much he loved his wife. Maybe that was something God knew Steve needed to do that day....talk about his wife.

It's possible there really isn't anything wrong with Meijer's spice organization. I mean, if it wasn't so awful, I wouldn't have stopped to talk with Steve. But I can tell you I will never walk by those spices again and not think of him and pray he will find God's comfort amongst his grieving. I know God's heart...and I know He wants desperately to give him that. I hope he finds Him.

Blessings to you, Steve and Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Sometimes I wonder.......


Sometimes I wonder:

1) Who reads my blog from Akron, OH?

2) Who really eats asparagus?

3) Who reads my blog from Noblesville, IN?

4) Why I can get my books back to the library on time?

5) Who reads my blog from Powell, OH?

6) Why my cats go crazy, and I mean CRAZY for cottage cheese?

7) Who reads my blog from San Luis Obispo, CA?

8) Why the dirty laundry always grows immediately after I finish it?

9) Who reads my blog from Stow, Massachusetts?

10) Why we already have snow on the ground this morning?

Sunday, November 16, 2008

A Hesterfamily Christmas


I have already started decorating our guest bedroom for Christmas. A little early, I know...but I am just curious as to what decorations I already have to work with, and whether I might need a few things from Target to get me by. We are having our family Christmas here this year, and I am so excited about it!!!

So, I had to take a picture of our kitten Sophie as she helped me with some of the decorating. She is pretty as a picture...or maybe a Christmas card.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

More "firsts" for everything


In keeping with the "firsts for everything" theme, last night my husband finally legitimize our marriage, after 17 years of co-habitating...not to mention the births of our two girls. It seems that while I was sleeping, Gregg had a moral moment and decided that enough was enough. It was time to make it official. So, he went on FACEBOOK, and proclaimed to the whole world that he honestly loved me and that we are now married. WHAT A RELIEF!!!! I cannot tell you how much this means to me. Long ago, I had lost hope that this would ever happen. But when I finally stopped pestering him about it, I guess he decide that I was marriage material for him. It feels good. Now I can walk around with my head up high knowing that my man wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Although....what if I am just a "starter wife????" What if he is just using me for financial gain? Times are hard for everyone now economically. At least that is what MSNBC is always saying. (I can't stand MSNBC!) Oh why, oh why, didn't I sign a prenup??????

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I've noticed over the years that most couples have a TV show they love to watch together, you know, like LOST or HEROES, or something like that. Gregg and I have never had this. I am not sure why. I guess it is because he loves to watch war movies and I like to watch TV Land. He isn't into vintage TV (Oh, the horror!)...and I can't stand old black and whites with airplanes in them. In this crucial category of marriage, we are not a match made in heaven. But that all changed when we watched ABC's Life on Mars!! We love this show....both of us!!!!! We get so excited when we get the blanket out...lay down on the couch, and command the DVR to bring up "our show." Can you feel the love???? No more embarrassment. No more judgment by those in marriages who have an "our show." We now join the ranks of those whose marriages are completely fulfilling...completely compatible. We are now one and it is all thanks to the "boob tube." (Why did people once call it that? I don't get it.) We now know what we were missing as a couple. As long as Life on Mars doesn't get the ax, all is well in Hesterland.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Love, Grandpa-----the Old Vet


You've heard people often say "There is a first for everything." Usually said with a sarcastic tone, the statement gives hint to how much the person wished this "first" never happened in their life. But today, I whispered these words to myself with complete amazement and joy. You see, my "first for everything" is an email I received today from my 85 year old Grandpa. Let me say that again... I RECEIVED AN EMAIL FROM MY GRANDPA!!! To read words from his heart and his mind is such a rare gift to me. He took the time to reply to an email I sent him yesterday thanking him for his service to our country. His fingers touched the keyboard. His eyes glanced at the screen to make sure his "i's were dotted and his t's were crossed." He formulated words and sentences in his head to say to me. I never expected it. I never dreamt of a reply. But there the words sat on my screen...a modern day transaction of dialog between two different generations. What priceless value it has to me!!!!

Hopie had a Patriotic Celebration at school yesterday for Veteran's Day. All elementary students wore a red, white, or blue shirt to participate in the festivities. In advance, the school asked for pictures of vets we had in our family. I searched all over the house looking for my grandparent's wedding picture. It is the only picture I have of my grandpa in his Navy uniform. He is incredibly handsome in that picture. And I am not just saying that out of pride for him. He truly was a "hot number." You can just tell. I was so frustrated when I couldn't come upon the picture. Sure, I could have called my grandparents, asked them to send me a copy. But that would have taken too much time. How I wish I could have shared that proud man's picture with our elementary students! They may have looked at it and counted it as just another old picture. I don't blame them. It takes us so long to develop a true appreciation for the sacrifices of a veteran. I am even married to one and I take the price for granted. I wish we could be better than that. I wish we were beyond the instant patriotism that stems simply from occasionally hearing Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA." I wish it was still in our blood...part of our heritage as Americans. Instead, we have become proficient in the practice of slandering our leaders, our government, and our country. We have come so far....in the wrong direction. Oh, to have a clear understanding and untainted view of what it means to be truly patriotic and proud to be an American!!!!

"I remember when we were in school and at ll o'clock, we had to stand and be "silent" for a minute. Sure they don't do anything like that now.
Hope everything okay w/you and family."
Love, Grandpa-----the old Vet

Monday, November 10, 2008

Living in CAPS


I've had an aversion to "at home" parties for some time now. When my girls were small and with me all the time, I lived for the handwritten postcard in the mail inviting me to the many possibilities of tasting simply, or pampering the chef. I loved the opportunity to get out of the house and connect with other women. It was more than helping a friend earn money for her party, it was a chance to live outside the world of Sesame Street and Blue's Clues for just an evening. It was a win-win for both of us.

As life continued and my time with the girls became less and less, my willingness to "give up an evening" wasn't all it was cracked up to be anymore. I didn't need the break from the mundane as much, and the products being offered just didn't seem to match the value of a stress-free night at home. The abundance of invitations dwindled as much as my need to go. I cannot remember the last time I have gone to a party. Could be as many as 4 years ago. That was before I heard about this......

A friend of mine shared this new concept with me the other day, and I was absolutely giddy when I heard the words "trendy and hip" used to describe this product in the same sentence. I had to share the idea with my sister. I called her right away. She gets just as giddy as I do with those "magic" words. I knew she would be all over this product. But I really didn't know HOW all over it she would be. I just didn't know how to describe it to her. All I could do is tell her to look at the website. And the rest will be history.

Check it out for yourself: http://angelahunn.uppercaseliving.net

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Extreme Blog Makeover


I have made some changes to my blog this week. Sometimes I get bored with the look of my blog, and want to make it more aesthetically pleasing. Just like Faith loves to move the furniture around in her bedroom....so must I change some things around on my blog. It is critically important. :)

1) New blog background- Gregg thinks it is too busy. Sister can't see it on her computer for some reason. Hopie thinks it's cool. You win some, you lose some. If only the election had been this easy.

2) Comments viewed on the side of blog- Nice touch, but will it prohibit people from making comments?? Hope not.

3) Live feed- Indicates where viewers of the blog are when looking at the site. This is pretty cool, I think.

Although these changes were very easy to implement, I was pretty proud I could do it myself. Doesn't take much, does it????

Saturday, November 8, 2008

When you're looking for a friend to "have your back"


Not to belabor the topic of Beth Moore's David Study, but she asked some poignant questions today regarding friendship....and I was just wondering where others might be on this subject. Gregg and I picked through these questions while on our romantic rendezvous this weekend, but it is always interesting to hear another perspective as well. Maybe these are thoughts you have never pondered before. Maybe this isn't a subject that stays on your cranial radar very often. Or maybe this might spark something within you, that you didn't realize you were desiring for yourself.

The questions in the study preceded scripture that highlighted the relationship between David and Jonathan. As I read through this set of scripture once again, I was amazed at the level of deep friendship between these two men, and wondered just how many women (who stereotypically seem to be more friendship-minded than men) could identify whole-heartedly with its characteristics.

While acknowledging David and Jonathan's relationship was very uncommon, Beth Moore shares 3 evidences of what made it that way:

1) Uncommon friends can speak their minds without fear.
2) Uncommon friends can share their hearts without shame.
3) Uncommon friends can stay close even at a distance.

In each criteria, in classic BM form, she discusses what made their friendship so uncommon. Wish I had room to share all that with you. It certainly would add more depth to the evidence. But her most thought provoking questions were as follows:

How far along are you in being able to embody these three great characteristics of friendship?

What do you think might be standing in your way of experiencing the full blessing of them? (This is my favorite question. This is the one I am most curious about.)

Wondering what you think.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12

Friday, November 7, 2008

When a friend no longer "has your back"


I am really enjoying my Beth Moore study with David. Each day, I feel like I am learning something different and interesting that I hadn't really thought of before. I value that about Beth Moore. It is my favorite thing about her. God uses her to bring out the color, dimension, and life of His Word. Under her teaching, you are left with an unquenchable need to continue reading the Word...as if she leaves you with a biblical cliffhanger each day, and she isn't even The Author of The Book. This study is especially meaningful to me as Gregg is doing it too...just a few days behind me. It's fun for me to discuss this with him.

Today, as I plug along through my 90 day journey, I was reading about Saul trying to kill David. Saul's jealousy overtook his rationality (although there is evidence throughout 1 Samuel which shows he didn't have much), and he made several attempts to end David's life...even when his own daughter was married to him. As I read the scene where Saul tries to pin David to the wall with a spear, I wondered if David ever wondered what happened to his relationship with Saul. Back in 1 Samuel 16:21, we learn that "David came to Saul and entered his service. Saul liked him very much, and David became one of his armor-bearers." Not only that but Saul was "pleased" with him. He found "relief from the evil spirit" when David was around. David's presence in his life was a blessing. He added much to Saul's life.

So, what a difference a few chapters in the Bible make!!! By 1 Samuel 19, Saul and David's relationship has no evidence of what it used to be. Now Saul is running around with spears, hunting down David, while this particular son of Jesse is running for his life!! And we aren't even mentioning how taxiing this unhealthy relationship with his now father-in-law had to be on David's marriage to Michal. Thankfully for David in this case, her allegiance to her man took precedence over honoring her father.

This story leads me to think about the relationships we have in our lives. How many times do we allow our once healthy relationships to turn sour....where they almost become unrecognizable to us? We may know we are at an unhealthy juncture...but we are so enraged with sin, we don't have the capacity to remember what drew us to the person in the first place-like in Saul's situation with David. Now, sometimes relationships change due to circumstances in our lives. But when "jealousy, spears, and evil spirits" come into play, then it is obvious you have something you need to address with one another. While David was running away from Saul, I just wondered if he ever thought "What happened to us, Saul???" or maybe "I know you once 'had my back' Saul, but this is ridiculous!"

So...I am left pondering Saul once again. I do see many similarities with Saul and myself. I don't want to. He just is sooooo good at showing his humanness...and of course, highlighting his behavior due to his own personal evil spirit. I want to be better about loyalty, allegiance, and over all commitment than Saul. I want to contribute to relationships in my life without carrying a spear in hand. I want to live out my relationships like Christ. And I want to receive the forgiveness of Him and others when I fail.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Things I want for Christmas


Hobby Lobby has had their Christmas stuff out since June. Target and Meijer just hopped on the band wagon last weekend, as soon as Halloween was over. Being amongst all the ornaments, trees, and wrapping paper makes me want to sit on Santa's knee (if he can take the weight) and share with him what I will have on my Christmas list this year. It is a stretch from my normal "candles, Bath and Body Works, and TJ MAXX gift card" kind of list. It is a list from the heart. Impossible for Santa to deliver in his sleigh. Not impossible for God...although, thankfully, His gift-giving isn't limited to just December 25. The list is as follows:

1) A good authentic conversation with a friend. One that leaves you both exhilarated and exhausted at the same time. Been a while since I have had one of those. I eat those up...but it's been so long, my conversational bones are starting to show. Kind of gross, I know, but it's true.

2) To impact the life of someone who wants to know more about Christ. Giving each day to God with the expectation of Him using me right then and there.

3) One day lived without my sinful nature. That would be a gift to others as well. :) Oh, glorious day!

4) A way to let people know how much I truly love them...appreciate them. And have them receive it willingly. Talking about a little giving and taking here.

5) More time spent with all my grandparents. More conversations...more hugs...more opportunities to say thank you and I love you.

6) One body, one spirit amongst believers. Unity...plain and simple.

7) To bring encouraging words and a hug to someone who truly needs it. At the right time, and the right place.

8) To know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am doing all I can to invest in the lives of my girls. Am I helping them to develop into the future women God wants them to be? Am I laying the proper "groundwork?"

9) To hold my dad's hand. To let him know I am never too old to need him in my life. To share with him my heart on so many things.

10) To have the things that God desires me to have. To listen to His voice. To have wisdom...to be without distraction...to be close to Him.


I can just imagine the look on Santa's face as I step away from him after sharing my list. Whew!! What happened to Barbie and Fisher-Price toys???Bet he is wishing he never asked the question "And what do you want this year from Santa, little girl???"

Scandal in the Hesterhouse


I'm meeting a man in a hotel this weekend. He is a mysterious man and one whom I long to sneak away with. I have thought about him all week....my mind distracted by images of spending time with him. I talk openly about him with my husband. He knows all about him. He realizes I am going to see him, and there is nothing he can do to stop it. He is well aware that my thoughts have been centered around my rendezvous this weekend. He notices the smile on my face...the twinkle in my eye. I just can't hide it anymore.

The busyness of our lives has gotten in the way of feeling connected with my husband. We don't talk like we used to...spend much uninterrupted time together. So many things have gotten in the way of that. It's just not working anymore. It's what forces me to throw my inhibitions aside. It's why I just have to get away with the other man. I just feel so "alive" when I am with him.

I know others may judge me...but I don't care. They don't understand what draws me to this man. He is sensitive, caring. He listens to me. Makes me feel important, valuable. When we are alone, there is no one else in the world but us. Chaos could ensue around us, candidates could be elected whom we didn't necessarily vote for, gas prices could fall to $1.91 and we wouldn't notice. We are just that into each other.

If I could sneak away with this man more often, I would in a heartbeat. There is never enough time to be with him. There are so many "hoops" we must jump through to see one another. Sometimes, in the middle of the day, when my thoughts are all about him, I will evade my daily duties for the moment and text him a message for his eyes only. No one else has to know. My heart leaps when I hear my cell "chime" with announcement that I have received something back from him. It gives me sweet butterflies in my stomach.

I'm not stupid. I know this weekend won't last forever. I know that I will return to my cluttered calendar life once again....this "albatross" that keeps me from my love. In our encounter this weekend, I will ask him...beg him..."When can we see each other again?? This is just so hard. I don't know how much longer I can be without you." He will tell me that I have to be patient, let him get his life in order, remind me how much he is worth the wait. I will concede my emotions for yet another time...and hope beyond hope that we will be with one another again soon. I must be incredibly grateful for the time we have had together, and cling to the memories. And for a moment I will feel a kinship with Bill Shakespeare himself as he so eloquently penned the words of my heart over 400 years ago.... "Parting is such sweet sorrow."

**Side note- Just to clarify...this "other man" is my husband. :) After Gregg read this, he thought it would be important to mention this....just in case you had any doubt. :)

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Keen on the Kindle?

Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book?
It took me years to write, will you take a look?
It's based on a novel by a man named Lear
And I need a job, so I want to be a "kindle"back writer,
"Kindle"back writer.
"Kindle"back writer...writer....writer.


-The Beatles


OK....I hate to admit this....but Oprah is on my TiVo schedule. Save your hate mail for later. :) I know I am an abomination to all that is pure and holy. But seriously, I don't watch everything that she has on. In fact, most of it, I just simply delete. I can tell by the title description of the show that it is something I just don't need in my brain, if you know what I mean. But earlier in the week, she had on her "Must Have Gadget Show" and because she introduced me to the wonder of SPANX, I just had to watch.

Much to the dismay of all paperback and hardback publishing companies, Oprah's praise for the "gadget of all gadgets" right now is the KINDLE. A kindle is a electronic device where you download all of your books onto it, instead of buying a paper version. You can buy the books in kindle form off of Amazon.com and they are apparently cheaper than their paper counterpart. It can hold up to 200 books as long as they are not illustrated. Imagine removing 200 books from the square footage of your home!!! Now that would really clear off the dusty bookshelves of the Hesterhome!!!!




Here is the Wikipedia definition of the Kindle for those electronic gurus in my audience who just couldn't stand my elementary description of the gadget:

Kindle is an e-book reader—an embedded system for reading electronic books (e-books)—launched in the United States by prominent online bookseller Amazon.com in November 2007. It uses an electronic paper display, reads the proprietary Kindle (AZW) format, and downloads content over Amazon Whispernet, which uses the Sprint EVDO network. (I like mine much better. :)


Since I have now decided I don't want an iphone for my pending 40th, I was wondering if I might like the Kindle instead. It does take my love for books to a whole new level. However, I don't know a single person I could ask who happens to have one (besides Oprah that is, and we aren't that close). Yet, something in me says "no" to the Kindle. I enjoy my trips to the library too much, and I love getting to check out the likability of books for free. It is only those dreaded overdue fees that I could do without. Besides, having the feeling of a new book in my hand is such a thrill for me. Could I really do without the intoxication of the "new book smell" just for the sake of being "hip" with a Kindle?? At this point, I think not. I am completely content with my books the way they are. Guess that makes me adverse to new technology...but what do you expect?? I am old. I am going to be 40.

It's a thousand pages, give or take a few,
I'll be writing more in a week or two.
I can make it longer if you like the style,
I can change it round and I want to be a "kindle"back writer,
"Kindle"back writer

Monday, October 27, 2008

TLC's Real Simple is simply Real Complicated


Faith and I enjoyed a much needed break from 7th grade studying and homework yesterday afternoon, and planted ourselves squarely on the couch, as we got reacquainted with the DVR. I had read that the magazine "Real Simple" was premiering a new show on TLC, having to do with creative ideas on how to keep your life stress-free and organized. I once had a subscription to the magazine (expensive as it is), and enjoyed some of the unique ideas they share to eliminate clutter in the home, etc. I was excited in seeing what the show had to offer and how close it would resemble its paper counterpart.

Disappointment with the show hit me right off the bat. The opening segment shows a bunch of well groomed, not "real simple" people sitting on a couch reviewing who their new "victim", oops, I mean project is going to be. In the unfortunate likeness of "Extreme Home Makeover," the viewer is then thrusted into a mini van with these not so simple people as they continually discuss what is wrong with their "project's" life, and what they are going to do to fix it.

The subject of the show is a 40 year old married woman living in California. She has two kids under the age of 3 and she works full time. For some reason, she is stressed out. (OF COURSE SHE IS!!!!!) The RS team comes in to attack every area of her life....her mental state, her closet and what she wears, her kitchen and what she cooks, etc. They judge her for the ways in which she is handling the pressures of her life. They mock her stress level by making fun of her clothes. They laugh at the frozen food she serves her family at night. And above all else, they can't understand why she is not "opening up to them" about her life. So, they intend to forcefully make their way "in," by tricking her into playing Real Simple games that add even more stress to her complex world (i.e. making her plan a party with an hour's notice, and testing her ability to pick out a complete outfit from a rack of unfamiliar clothing in less than 3 minutes.) As Faith and I sat in utter amazement, we felt such pity for the woman. We wondered if she thought for a moment, "This is not what I signed up for. This is not making my life Real Simple."

I am going to keep "Real Simple" on the DVR schedule for a few more episodes. I want to cut the producers some slack and see if they can adjust the error of their ways. If the show continues to be a berating of those that are just "simply" asking for some "simplification" of their lives, I am done with it. It really wasn't what I was expecting it to be anyway.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

The Family Secret


Easy-Off Oven Cleaner came over for a visit on Thursday, just as my Mom and G'pa Dan were heading this way from Michigan. So did Lime Away Shower Cleaner... along with a few squirts of Tilex in those really unmentionable places. Coincidental??? Hardly!!! You see, the big dogs of scrubbing, scouring, AND purification reemerge when my mom comes for a stay. They probably haven't been out since the last time she was here. With rubber gloves strapped securely to my hands, I go to work on the enormous task of trying to live up to the standards of the generations of women before me.... my mom and my grandma, that is. Their houses are always "showroom ready" and they always have been. I cannot accurately put into words just how hygienically pleasing their homes are. With each wave of the cleanser soaked sponge I ask myself, "How do they do it????" More importantly, "Why hasn't the family secret of having a completely immaculate house not been passed down to me??"

I call my sister when I need a break from the cleaning fumes and am having trouble breathing. She sympathizes greatly with my plight. She too has been left out of the secret. It remains solely and squarely with my mom and my grandma. I am wondering if that is where it will forever stay. My sister calls me as well, when she is in the midst of preparing her house for my mom's visit. In jest, we offer to come help each other groom our abodes for "white glove status," knowing full well we can't. We live 5 hours away from one another on a good day. We are the only ones who truly understand the devastation of being left out of the secret.

Now, why wouldn't you want to share the "coveted" formula of immaculacy with your progeny?? Wouldn't that secret be important to pass on to the generations of women behind you???? I know it is "privileged information," but I am blood for crying out loud!!!! Doesn't that count for something???

I have asked my mom point blank about the secret. She only smiles back at me and coyly responds, "I don't know what you are talking about." I even kicked things up a bit in my accusations this time. I wanted her to know I was "on to her." I told her that I knew about the "Cleaning Elves." She laughed suspiciously, "Elves??? What elves? I have no idea what you are talking about." I rebutted, "You have to have cleaning elves, Mom!!! How in the world do you do it otherwise??? Grandma has them too! Why can't Ang and I use them??? Please! Have mercy on us! We are moms with kids still at home for crying out loud. Why do you still need them?" Closing the door on the possibility of revelation, she simply utters, "I don't know what you are talking about. There are no elves." And there the secret stays.

So, under the cabinet in the Hesterkitchen sit Easy-off and Lime Away nestled close beside their friends, the Rubber Gloves. They laugh in hysteria as they know the secret too. They enjoy their siesta and will sleep soundly until the next time Mom and G'pa Dan head south from Michigan. In the meantime, I will check on craigslist and ebay to see if any one is trying to get rid of their cleaning elves, when I wish I could just inherit my own.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Nocommentaphobia- the Phobia of Commenting on Blogs


I follow Target Addict (target-addict@blogspot.com) pretty faithfully. She shares a common obsession, oops..I mean healthy love, for Target like I do. It is neat to see all the things she highlights on her blog with true Red Bulls eye adoration. I learn about certain items I didn't even know Target had, and she always picks out the coolest stuff to talk about. I just totally dig her and her site.

There is another camaraderie we have with one another besides our love for Target. Our blogs are laced with nocommentaphobia...much like sent letters that were laced with Anthrax back in 2001, and we are having trouble removing it. We both rarely have comments on our blog entries. She writes everyday about something Target-related, and can go weeks without a comment. Yet, she continues to write faithfully. I wonder if she ever feels like she is solely writing to Al Gore himself, whom, of course, invented the Internet with his brain tied behind his back. How she keeps on writing without feeling discouraged, I do not know. I might have to ask her some time....in one of my comments undoubtedly.

I, on the other hand, have the misfortune of writing to my "readership" from the heart. I don't have the luxury of writing about trivial (or not so trivial) things like Target, because I am sick. I am sick with a disease of transparency and other junk like that. I couldn't write just about Target if I tried. And believe me, I would love to. Instead, I bare part of my complex soul for everyone to see, in hopes that it might encourage another to know they are not alone in some of the battles they may face. Because of my readership's nocommentaphobia, I must endure the unknown of assuming that someone out there was touched, but just couldn't overcome their fear of commenting about it. And that's OK.

Now, some blog-writers are inundated with comments. I am not sure why one blog generates more comments than another. The topics really don't seem that different from blog to blog. It may be because their readership is simply free of the phobia...they've gone through the effort it takes, the 12 step program and counseling necessary to post away. Good for them!!

This post may even generate some comments of its own. The very subject matter may cause someone to conquer nocommentaphobia and throw caution to the wind. But I can't help but smile, because there is a strong chance that the comment number will stand at zero...maybe for spite...maybe just to prove a point. Either way, know that I love you anyway....and "Jesus is friend of mine." (Remember that little video??? Now THAT generated a few posts.)

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Is there hope for the Underdog?


It is not often that I make a chosen fool of myself and not feel embarrassed about it afterwards. But Saturday morning, as I watched Hopie play her 6th soccer game with her team sitting firmly in last place, I couldn't help but cheer like a crazy woman. I am sure strangers behind me, even friends for that matter, judged me as lunatic material. I didn't care. You see, my daughter's team was tied 3-3 with the "yellow" team. Certainly you have heard of the yellow team. The yellow team is made up of star quality players on it....in fact, many. They mauled our poor little team the last time we played them 10-1. It was one of those games when you just begged the sky to open and shower torrential rains upon the field to end their misery. It was so painful to watch. But this tied game, on the other hand, was such a joy...pay back if you will...that there was NO WAY ON EARTH I was going to "curb my enthusiasm."

I guess if I were completely honest with you, there was a part of me that wished I could push a pause button on the game and explain to the crowd (now watching me instead of the game) for just a few moments why I was so charged about this game. I have been occupying a lot of space in the Underdog category of life right now. There are many "games" that I go out to play, with team uniform and all, where I don't win. I have been in the loser's bracket for some time now, and it gets exhausting. I feel like I am losing at the game of trying to keep my daughter prepared for all of her academic challenges in 7th grade. I am leading my team to defeat when I can't keep all up with all I should be doing as wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter, etc. There are things in my life where I am "occupying" failing space, that I can only share with my husband. It is safe, because he can identify with them too. So, in explanation to the crowd around me, I would have had to scream at the top of my lungs, "THIS SOCCER GAME CHARGES ME UP....BECAUSE FOR ONCE, I AM WITNESSING THE UNDERDOG MAKING AN IMPACT. GO GREEN!!!! Now, watch the game instead of me, ya hear!!!!"

Someone who is feeling rightful "Underdog" status currently is John McCain. At this point in the election, when we are just 13 days out, things have taken a negative turn for him, and according to Drudge this morning, he is sitting 10 points down. If Obama doesn't win, I don't know what else he could have done differently. He's had Bruce Springsteen concerts, the View, Oprah, Colin Powell, millions upon millions in donated campaign money, a house in downtown Groveport with an enormous sign plastered to the front, kisses from archenemy Hillary Clinton, botox from Joe Biden, candle votives with pictures of him looking like Jesus, the "W" movie, his own cable channel....the list could go on and on. He is sitting very pretty right now. He may be sitting very pretty for the next 4 years, and this may be something I will have to get very used to. If Americans sympathize closely with how Tina Fey feels about having to play Sarah Palin for the next four years on SNL, Obama is a shoe in.

I know there have been a lot of football movies about being the underdog. There has even been a movie about Underdog being the underdog. Maybe John should spend a few moments during his down time on the campaign trail to catch a few of these flicks. Maybe this might energize him as the Election finish line is in clear view. If I could speak with John, I would ask him to fight for his political life like he did when he was a POW. I would want him to know that many are praying about this election....and are confident that God's Will will be done either way. That is coming from the lips of a true underdog. "There's no need to fear, Underdog is here."

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

College Roadtrip


Funny how things from the past can come to the forefront of your mind when you least expect it. I'm not sure if that is a tool of Satan's in his masterful way of accusing, or just God's sweet way of saying "Look how much I have done in your life." Sometimes it is difficult to tell initially.

Last Thursday night, I got an unexpected email through Facebook from my roommate in college. We haven't spoken in 18 years...not because of a falling out...just because of life, I suppose. It was a bit of a shock to hear from her, yet it was exciting to hear some of the things that have taken place in her life since our carefree college days. When I sat down at the laptop to formulate my response, my mind had trouble narrowing down exactly what to say. There has been SO MUCH that has taken place in my life since college....the most important being God. I mean, honestly, where do you begin? I could tell her about marrying Gregg....I could tell her about all the moves we have made due to Gregg's career...I would most definitely tell her about our babies...but what about the "real" stuff of the last 18 years?? The person who closed our dorm room door behind her for the last time in 1991, is forever gone. How do you narrow the gap of time with just mere words? Would it be right to leave out the most significant change that has occurred in my life the last 18 years? And how strange would it be for her to hear about my life now with God, when her only memories of me would clearly be of someone who did not know Him at all?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Two days later, Gregg and I worked the OSU/Purdue Football game. Our church has a concession booth where a portion of our sales goes to missions. We do this every year together, and have a fun time doing it. But there is something that ALWAYS happens to me when I work these games. (And as I begin to think how I will describe this to you, I wonder if any of you can relate.) Being at the OSU game throws me obviously smack dab in the middle of the college scene--that completely self-centered time when you foolishly believe the world truly revolves around you. I see surrounding me once familiar attitudes and actions, and it is disturbing for me to revisit those. I see my "once absorbed" self in almost every college girl that walks up to our counter....whether inebriated or sober. I imagine what it would be like to have a "heart to heart" with these girls...to let them into my life...give them a glimpse of the things that I have been graciously forgiven by God for...to share with them The Answer to the inner turmoil they are trying to escape. As I slide their super nachos with cheese and an overpriced Coke across the counter, I would love to ask them "Would you like God with that?" I serve at the game with a willing heart, yet walk away with incredibly sore feet and waivering thoughts of wishing I could have touched just one life while I was there.

As I pull the covers tightly to me in my bed after a long day of Brutus dogs and salted pretzels, I have concerns that all this recent brain inundation of college stuff might intrude upon my sleep life. I ask myself if these feelings mean nothing, or could they be indicative of something more. Surely, I do believe I am forgiven for my incredible stupidity of the past. God, in all His grace and mercy, has released me of those chains. But why can't I go to these games, or be contacted by a former roommate without having to "go back to college" in my mind?

Life will go on...and except for the transcript of my blog, I will probably forget that I was dwelling upon these things. That is, of course, until the next round of accusations come from the father of lies. What's most important here is giving God the honor and praise for taking a gray, lumpy piece of clay, and molding it and shaping it into something beautiful. How I long to see the finished product someday!!!!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

"Hard to put down" Guarantee


Several weeks ago, while dwelling in the Land of Polaris, I walked into the Lifeway Christian Bookstore, looking for the new Beth Moore "David" Journal I was getting ready to start. I had read in a flyer that it was on sale, and I am always interested in the words "On Sale." Now, I don't go into Lifeway very much. We don't have a great relationship. It almost consistently disappoints me. It rarely has the particular item I am looking for, and their employees' warm greetings are always followed up with a "We don't have that item, but we can order it for you." My internal response is usually "That's what Amazon is for," but for some reason I don't think that would be too Christ-like.

About the only good thing regarding Lifeway is the opportunity to peruse the New Book section. Although I do try to keep current on all the lastest and greatest, sometimes something new doesn't make my radar screen. So, with my handy dandy notebook (oh...remember that?? Blues Clues seems ages ago) ready to go, I copy down every book title that remotely seems interesting to me. Then I go home and check the library website to see if our library carries it. (Now, if I had an iphone...I could just check it right there.)

Very little grabs me at the bookstore. I am too picky I suppose. There is just so much saturation in the Historical Fiction-Amish Department. Ever notice that?? But I did find one that definitely piqued my curiosity. And I have enjoyed it ever since I got my hands on it. The book is entitled "The Almost True Story of Ryan Fischer" by Rob Stennett and it is absolutely hilarious. Here is how Publisher's Weekly puts it:


"Screenwriter Stennett offers a satirical look at a non-Christian's ascent to pastor of a megachurch in this engaging, highly readable novel. Ryan Fisher is a 28-year-old real estate agent who doesn't believe in God, but lists himself in the Christian Business Directory (along with a Jesus fish symbol) to beef up sales. He and his wife, Katherine, attend church to validate his new religious image, where he sees the possibilities of utilizing business principles to create his own megachurch. They move to Bartlesville, Okla., and create "The People's Church" where Ryan preaches a feel-good, do-good gospel ("I'm not encumbered by things like the Bible and Jesus"). As church numbers swell, Oprah calls, local pastors are on the warpath, a religious fanatic plots Ryan's assassination, and Katherine is smitten with Cowboy Jack, a karaoke singer-turned-worship leader who pens Christian lyrics to popular radio tunes. Is Ryan in over his head? Interesting narration and Dave Barryesque footnotes make this humorous entertainment with a faith-based message."


The genre of Satirical Christian Fiction is very small. I think a lot of people can't imagine putting those two concepts together. I wonder if that is why you never see any Christian comedy shows on TBN. (That comment is supposed to be my own attempt at satire. Can you tell?) Anyway, I haven't given the Hesterwoman "No-Money Back" guarantee since Riven by Jerry Jenkins. But this one receives my "You will laugh out loud when reading this" seal of approval. Let me know what you think.