Me? A Royal Pain?

**Royalty Update- Husband #1 called home to check in. We hadn't had a chance to talk this morning before he went to work as I was desperately trying to gain some more zzzzz's. Here is a snippet of our conversation:


Husband #1- "How are things going this morning?"
Adorable Wife- "Going well, but I am exhausted. You totally hogged the bed last night....again."
Husband #1- "I hogged the bed? You were on my side. I didn't even have a sheet. If we had a video camera, I could prove it."
Very Adorable Wife- (Laughter gushes out of her...much like the kind of laughter she has when she is with her sister)"You have got to be kidding!" I had to wake you up to get you to move over. (More laughter coming up from the pit of her stomach)
Husband #1- (annoyed by this incessant laughter)"I gotta go. Why don't you call your sister and laugh yourself silly?"
Extremely adorable wife- (completely inaudible because of cackling) "Ha-Ha...Shgkgiesgo my side of the sofeosgobfs push YOU off bfgufidbfdelf...Ha-Ha.... bye Sweetheart."
Husband #1- (at a loss for words because he was wrong) Bye!


Imagine me....hogging the bed. It was HIM!! I know I am SO right. Really, I am.

Moving up in Royalty?

She served us well for 17 years, but now I feel her crown must be removed. I am talking about my Queen....my queen-size bed, that is. She is becoming way too small. I haven't had a solid night sleep in weeks (except when we were with "The King" at Disney World), because I am waking up several times a night to the prospect of nearly falling off the bed due to having NO ROOM. I call Gregg on it....but he plays the romantic card and uses the excuse, "I only want to be close to you." (Is that TMI for a blog??? My apologies.) I argue with him and tell him that statement is just an excuse with a capital "E." Cuddle time??? Come on!!! He has NO IDEA in the wee hours of the morning he has taken up the whole bed. He is snoring in "Never-never land" which lends to an intense need to forcefully "elbow" him over to HIS side.

I can't stand it! I long for a solid night's sleep. Why is it that "The Queen" worked out wonderfully for so many years, but it seems her reign is over? Unfortunately, if we allowed "the King" into our bedroom, he would BECOME our bedroom. Out with the dressers, night stand, and the cute little couch. Our room would be totally bed. Maybe Lucy and Ricky had it right with their two separate twin beds. Now those would fit nicely in the bedroom!

Cry Me A River

Now finally nestled under one roof, the Hesterfamily sat down together tonight to watch "Design Star" on HGTV. We just love watching this show. I am not sure what draws us all in, but it is one gripping hour of tv that we just don't want to miss. Thanks to the DVR, we can zip past the commercials, and limit the amount of "pain and agony" between the intermittent cliffhangers. Tonight's show was quite a doozy! Is anyone else out there watching this too? I have never seen a man shed so many tears BEFORE getting voted off, and I was blown away when he said he wanted his mother....not once, but twice after being voted off. Did I think it was his time to go? No...but I don't think HGTV could afford the KLEENEX it would take to give this man his own show (the grand prize of Design Star). Maybe KLEENEX could be the show's sponsor. But alas, we won't be seeing his show after all, although he insisted time and time again he was the next Design Star.

We are doing a little designing ourselves at the Hesterhome. It is time to transform Faith's room into a Teen's paradise....within budget, that is. She is busy purging and organizing her room, so that it will be a clean slate when we go to work on it this weekend. This is our birthday present to her for her 13th. SAY IT ISN'T SO!!! While visiting my grandparents last week, I found a treasure in their basement that is sure to be the "piece de resistance" of the room. And Faith has no idea! It is an orange chair from the 50s that is sure to be the conversation piece in the room. I just can't wait to show it to her. Hopefully, it scores enough points to keep me from being "voted off" her room.

One of these things is not like the others

The girls are safe and sound in Michigan now, and I am breathing a sigh of relief. ("Thank you, Father for safe travel!! We talked a lot about this yesterday, didn't we, God?") They are closer to home, and are in familiar territory. There is something incredibly comforting about that. Today, Gregg heads for Michigan as well, but for a completely different reason. He is doing some training there for work, and will be about 3 hours from the girls. So....if you are doing the math, you are realizing that the Hestermomma is being left behind in the Buckeye State. WHAT WILL I DO???? This is so strange for me!!! I can't think of another time this has happened. You are probably thinking, "How wonderful!! Think of all the things you could get accomplished." I can think of one thing I am certain to accomplish....loneliness. Woh is me.....

Happy Birfday Brenda!!

Today, I would like to publically "celebrificate someone's bornfulness," by wishing my friend, Brenda a happy __tieth birthday!!!!! Although I respect George Bush as our Commander-in-Chief, I couldn't help stealing this play on words from the creative people at Hallmark. I thought it was pretty funny. Brenda, just wanted to say that I, among many, are thankful for your "bornfulness" and wish you a wonderful day of "celebrification." Happy ??th, friend!!!!!

**Message to my sister....where did the word "birfday" come from? I know you, of all people, would remember??? Tell me, please! Put me out of my misery.

Fear Factor

WARNING: Those who are made uncomfortable by dark spaces, spinning, or loud sounds should not read this blog. For your safety, you should be in good health and free from high blood pressure, heart, back or neck problems, motion sickness, or other conditions that could be aggravated by this blog. Expectant mothers should not read. For your comfort, air sickness bags are available.

As I write this, my girls are over 900 miles away from me. I can feel the anxiety building as I watch these words appear across my computer screen. Due to the Hestergirls' prior calendar engagements with other family members, it worked out best to leave the girls in Orlando to fly back to Michigan with my Dad and Linda tomorrow. This did not seem like such a bad idea when I suggested it months ago. After all, they are in perfectly good hands. The only trouble is, they aren't my hands.

I know this is a growing moment for me as a parent. I have got to stretch myself...allow my girls to create some memories outside of me. But this is more difficult for me than I thought it would be. I can't change it...I can't back out now. I have surrendered my control temporarily, and I have to be fine with it....because the older they get, the more opportunities there will be for them to fly away from the nest.

I just started a book entitled "Running Scared- Fear, Worry, and the God of Rest" by Edward T. Welch. I don't like this book at all. This is one of those books that gives insight into "why you are the way you are." The information is helpful, but it is not easy to hear. In reading this, I am recognizing that I am an incredibly fearful person. There is very little I don't fear. In fact, I am tempted to list some of my fears to you, but I am afraid to do so. I am only at the point right now of admitting them to myself. There are several things happening this summer which are forcing me to face my fears head on. God has placed me in these situations simply for the fact that I must trust Him in order to survive them both mentally and spiritually.

This "no turning back" mentality reminds me of the "Mission Space" ride I went on yesterday at Epcot. I was scared out of my mind....I could feel a potential panic attack coming on, due to all the warnings Disney repeated over and over again ( 7 different times) before the ride began. Just listening to the recorded mantra is enough to induce near hysteria. (See disclaimer above for verbage) There are two versions of this ride....the green (tame) or orange (crazy). Out of "peer pressure" (aka Gregg Hesterman), I hesitantly chose the orange version, because "everybody else was doing it." I still struggle with trying to be "cool mom" and I didn't want to disappoint my girls by opting out. As the ride took off, I prayed. I prayed some more. If I wasn't so strapped in, I might have gotten on my knees and prayed. The "G's" we were pulling were too much for me, in addition to hearing Disney's ominous warnings still playing in my head. I kept asking myself, "How long can this ride really be?" Certainly I could endure it for the 3 minutes most of these thrill rides tend to be. Breaking my concentration and my time with the Lord were a bunch of "woooooo-hoooooos" coming from my husband right next to me. This was his element. "I had to pull G's in pilot training," he announces to me....as if this information would be helpful for me to know at this particular time. How about quoting Psalm 23 over me instead, Sweetheart???

We survived the ride.....and I will survive this ride of allowing my girls out of my sight for a little while. But in the wee small hours of the morning when my mind is dwelling on the "what ifs", I just might need a barf bag for my comfort and the comfort of those around me.

Where in the "World" are we????

Tim Russert 1950-2008

I never "met the press" on Sunday mornings with Tim Russert, but I certainly paid attention to him during his "blow by blow" account of politics on the Today Show each morning. I really liked Tim and valued what he had to say. I found him to be simplistic, yet insightful in his civic analysis...someone I could easily understand and relate to somehow. He became a predictor of sorts in all the big elections of our country.("Florida, Florida, Florida"-2000, and "It all boils down to Ohio"- 2004) He covered our electoral process as if it were his two favorite football teams playing one another. He would even go so far as to use "John Madden-like" circles on the TV screen, with electronic pen in hand, just to emphasis his point, highlighting states that were pivotal to the outcome of an election. Before he donned the "pen," he used a tacky little wipe off board he probably picked up at the Dollar Store on the way to work. People appreciated the down to earth approach of his reporting. He was so refreshing, because he wasn't overtly slanted. If he was a democrat, you wouldn't know it, as he seemed so impartial. He wasn't a "looker" like most reporters are required to be. What he was missing in the superficial, he made up for in extreme likability. I never cared what Chris Matthews had to say or Andrea Mitchell. I certainly had no respect for Keith Obermann. Tim was trustworthy and his information was credible, all the while keeping his political agenda under wraps....if he had one.

I think Tim will be mourned more than most reporters because he wouldn't cave to the behaviors of his profession. He was indeed one of the rare ones of his generation for reporting. I will miss him....especially in this critical election season. His political "crystal ball" went forever dim today.

Anybody seen our "Cozy Coupe?"

Faith got invited to her first "Youth Event" at NewLife. I didn't have much time to think about all its implications (thank you,God!), as it was a "spur of the moment" invite--Not the typical event guidelines I go by like "two weeks notice with an RSVP tacked on the side." I watched her process the audible invite, mentally weighing the "pros and cons" of venturing into the world of the unknown. Before she made her final decision on whether to go, she made a phone call to see if anyone else she knew would be going. This was interesting to me. I had forgotten what imparitive information this is to a "teen."

Her daddy took her to the event. This was just as well. I might have sat in the van and cried my eyes out until it was over....that is, after I spied on her for a little bit. It was a harmless evening full of fun and water games. Perfect for the kind of weather we have been having lately.

She didn't get home until 9:30pm (early by ALL teens' standards), but of course, I was getting ready to dose off. She came in the bedroom, laid on the bed, and told me all about the evening. She said enthusiastically, "Momma, I had fun!" I traced my finger around her face as she spoke, not hearing much of what she said. My mind was in another place....a place where our house was littered with Little Tykes toys and the sound of nursery rhymes and bible verses set to music in the background. A place where pretending and play were the order of the day. A place of afternoon naps and coloring books. And then I was left with the thoughts of "How did we get here already" and "My, how beautiful she is becoming." OK....I must stop writing...tears are now streaming down the cheeks. Oh, this is soooo going to be a long journey for me.......

Bye, Bye Bunny......

I have been a busy bee trying to find a home for "Emma." I have talked with every Animal Protection Agency in the Columbus metro area, and people have been very gracious and sympathetic to my situation. But with every phone call I make, I am given another phone number to call, because frankly all the rooms at the inn are full of orphaned animals. (Even the "House of Rabbits" is at max capacity. I didn't even know there was a "House of Rabbits.") Hopie and I did put up some signs for "Emma" yesterday. The picture I used for the sign had a pitiful look on Emma's furry face...in hopes are garnering compassion out of anyone who might gaze upon it. Come to think of it, "Emma" always has that look on her furry face. That is probably one of the main reasons we have been harboring her in our garage the last three days. She is a sweet, lovable animal....but I just don't do rabbits. No ifs, ands, or buts.

Finally, the Humane Society said they would take her. I know what that could potentially mean, but I tried to keep things in perspective. We couldn't keep her, and for this docile creature, the outside would have been a painful ending to her life. I didn't want that for her. As I was getting things gathered to take "Emma" to her new "home," I received a call from a woman from "Friends for Life." (I know none of these organizational names mean anything to you...but I use them for the sake of illustrating just HOW many places there are for orphaned animals.) The FFL lady said she would be willing to take "Emma" as a companion for her other female rabbit!!! I was so excited...and shocked!!! God is good!!! So, we gave "Emma" a bath for her new owner(documented by pictures above...no extra words needed here. Very self-explanatory...see the pitiful expression I am talking about??). We hope to make the exchange today.

In all this I am reminded of God's provision for His Creation. These verses come to mind:

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air (or the bunnies of the fields); they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Matthew 6:25-26

**PS- Honestly, I am a little sad to see "Emma" go...but let's keep that between you and me.

**Side Note- The House of Rabbits lady and my very knowledgable neighbor both have strongly suggested that someone got tired of "Emma" and dropped her off in the cemetary across the street. My neighbor says this happens all the time. Disturbing.

Your Request has been Denied

I look for ways to please my girls. If there is something they come to me with... something I have an ounce of control over...something I have the power to say "yes" to, I am really going to try to do that. One reason for that is it stops the "tennis match" of arguing it can lead to...and the other is, if I can't see any harm in it, I just see no reason to "veto" it. I must make it clear that I am not an overly permissive parent. No one in my life would label me that way. But it delights my heart to see my girls happy or excited about something. So this morning, it pained my heart, when I had to say "no" to Hopie, because there was no way on earth I could say "yes" to this request.

She wants me to change her birth order. You see, she is tired of being the youngest. If I have heard this once, I have heard it 1000 times. She feels that Faith gets to do everything before her. By the time she gets to do it, it is not as exciting anymore. She even brought up the "birth right" issue between Jacob and Esau. (She scored some relevance points there.) She has the smaller room of the two of them, and she feels that is not fair. And she is right! I can't argue with anything that she has said. What has pushed Hope over the edge is Faith's new "part time/part time" volunteer "job" at the library. I wracked my brain and the internet trying to come up with an idea for her as well, but honestly, who wants a 10 year old volunteering for them, no matter how responsible they are? I am having a hard time coming up with ways to encourage her out of her funk. As much as she wants me to change her birth order, I just can't.

I don't know how to make this up to her. Someone always has to be last. Someone has to be the baby of the family. I always felt like most babies coveted the role simply for the fact that by the time the baby reached puberty, the parents were too tired to parent "effectively" and let the baby get away with a lot of things the first born didn't. These words however, are begrudgingly coming from the brain of a first born.

I have petitioned my sister's help with this. She graciously wrote a letter to Hopie discussing the benefits of being the youngest. The letter made her feel special temporarily....but now she is singing the "Baby of the Family Blues" again. I honestly am stumped as in how to help her. So I am sitting here on the floor of the basement....blogging...because I am the oldest and I get to do whatever I want.

Hare today.....gone tomorrow??

Gregg saw this bunny hop by the garage last night and recognized by its floppy ears that it probably was someone's pet. He sent the girls on a "rabbit trail" to see if they could gather somemore information about it. Was it wild? Was it tame? Could we keep it from attempting to cross the street and becoming a road rug? With carrot in hand, Faith got so close to Floppy, we were able to put her in the cat carrier....Floppy, that is. So...now we have a bunny living in a make shift crate in the garage. I have made several phone calls trying to find someone who can give me some information on what to do with her. She is a temporary guest at the Hesterhouse and she is NOT STAYING....I don't care how many names the girls give her. Dumbo/Emma will be checking out shortly.

Guilty of Laughter in the 3rd Degree

I need help in the parenting department. I have acquired a horrible habit which is wreaking havoc upon my credibility as a mother. It happens more often than not when I am disciplining Hopie...not the hard core discipline that requires grounding or some privilege taken away. It is more during a general reprimand over some offense that must be handled immediately in order to prevent bigger ones from occurring. Case in point: Hopie was sitting on the floor of her bedroom the other day saying some unkind things to her sister. I was in the bathroom "molding and shaping" my hair. Our bathroom is in perfect listening distance of her room. As I heard her prove positive Matthew 12:34("out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks"),I gracefully and calmly set my "styling utensil" on the counter, and with a slow gait,(Do you really believe this?) walked into her room to put a stop to the matter. When I turned the corner to find her looking up at me from the floor, I meticulously chose my words to ensure this behavior would never happen again. About 1/3 of the way through my dissertation, I looked into those big blue eyes staring back at me and I burst into fits of laughter. I couldn't help myself. This is not the first time this has happened. It is becoming a pattern, and I am kind of concerned about.

I have always struggled with laughing at inappropriate times and I really have to blame my sister for it. There were times at the dinner table growing up where I would have milk shooting out of my nose, trying not to laugh at something she did or said. It wasn't pretty....and it was painful. One time, sitting in church back in the day, my sister and I were stuffed into a wooden pew, passing the time away with a ball point pen. She took the pen apart and began playing with the spring between her thumb and her index finger. All of a sudden, the spring shot out of her fingers like a cannon and landed in an old lady's hair some two pew rows ahead of us. And the lady never noticed!!!! I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW PAINFUL IT WAS TO HOLD IN THE LAUGHTER. IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE. Our bodies convulsed and shook while we received the most unimaginable look from our mother. (I think she was on the verge of hysteria, too.) To this day, the story still makes me laugh out loud.

I am at a loss for what to do about this. I cannot continue laughing through moments of discipline with my girls. It defeats the whole purpose. I was wondering if I should just do all my disciplining from another location. Maybe I should stand in another room and yell it across the house. I won't be the first mom to do so. Or maybe I should do it by phone or email. I suppose I could text it....but neither of my girls have cell phones. And now that I have written about it, I will probably struggle with it even more. Has anyone come up with a decent cure for laughter?

Future Martha Stewarts....let's hope not!!

Last Tuesday, we had our first "Hestergirls Cooking Camp." Sometimes the summer days can seem long and endless (Isn't that wonderful??!!), and you need to come up with some creative ways to keep the kiddoes from singing the oh so famous soundtrack of summer "I'm bored." So we invited a few friends over and got our culinary juices flowing. What's on the menu for next week? Not sure yet....but you can bet I am looking forward to it.

PS- Most of the recipes used for last week's camp came from "The Nancy Drew Cookbook." If your daughter is a fan, it is a must-have. Lots of good easy recipes in it.

I'm so glad we had this time together

This may be old news to you.....but last week I learned that Harvey Korman passed away. I was saddened by this, as I have always hoped for another Carol Burnett Reunion Special on CBS. I know they have probably exhausted all the unseen footage, bloppers, etc., but I just savor that form of unduplicated humor. I miss it. I can remember sitting around the tv on Saturday nights in the 70s....all three generations of us....laughing in unison in some hilarious land of comedic sketches that Conway, Korman, Lawrence, or Burnett took us to. Is there ANYTHING on television today that you could watch with your grandparents? Only if it is in reruns or on DVD.

So in tribute to Harvey.....I will share my favorite sketch with you....and simply say, "I'm so glad we had this time together."

"Feeling lonesome and seasick"

I still love Children's books, even if my girls are too old for me to read to them anymore. (I did, however, make them sit on the couch with me yesterday and let me read two new Children's books I checked out for MYSELF @ the library....."Freckleface Strawberry" by Julianne Moore and "Skunkdog" in tribute to my dear friend Susan, who is always having to wash her dog in tomato juice.) The other day on Amazon.com, I was elated (and I mean ELATED) to see that my FAV Children's Author, Laurie Keller, is coming out with a sequel to one of my FAV books, "The Scrambled States of America." It is curiously titled, "The Scrambled States of America Talent Show." Can't wait to have it in my HOT little hands come August!!!

If you have young ones at home....AND you have a quirky sense of humor, then YOU MUST READ Laurie Keller to your children. It is as much a treat for you, as it is for them. These books have become such a part of the "culture" of our home, we quote lines from them....hence the title of this post. I hesitate to say this..... as I think Laurie Keller is so cool, I don't want to be disrespectful to her (I am sure she reads my blog daily), BUT.....my least favorites of hers are "Do unto otters" and "Grandpa Gazillion's Number Yard." But don't lean on my opinions....judge for yourself. They may end up being your favorites. Run to the library and enjoy some unusual summer reading with your kids. And in the end, you will know exactly what I am mean when I say, "Will you be my donut dog?"

Where Have I been?????

For as much as I enjoy riding this particular vehicle of writing (i.e. my blog), I have been avoiding her like the plague lately. A few of my "fans" have noticed..asking me where I have been....and honestly I don't have a very good answer for them. There are just too many to adequately list. But here is a sampling of reasons in which I have been "incognito" as of late:

1) A friend of mine at school was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, and without much time to think or process what that all meant for her, she underwent a double mastectomy. There were some troubling scans in the mix, which sent us all into a whirlwind of prayer before our Father. She is so well loved by both students and staff. While God has answered our heartfelt cries about the scans, she still has a road ahead that will surely allow God to show Himself mightily to her. (Amen to that!) But on a personal note, I am learning this about myself: If someone I know and love is going through something of great magnitude, I have a tendency to go through it with them. (There is no boasting in this comment whatsoever!) What I am trying to say is this.....I have a hard time not thinking about the situation, dwelling on it, praying about it, etc. It is a form of "bearing one another's burdens" (Galatians 6:2), but I am not sure that was what God had in mind. So, I have been a little distracted.

2) My girls just got out of school!!!! YIPPEE!! That means no more studying, no more homework, no more projects, no more talks about priorities, no more discussions about the Honor Roll, no more Friday Folders to sign, no more lunches to make.....at least for 3 months, that is. But the last few weeks of school have been pretty intense, with last minute tests and projects due. How has this kept me from blogging? I was so busy with this stuff, I felt like I was the student again. And probably in many ways, I was.

3) I had attempted to do a BLOG FACELIFT that went awry. I wanted to change the look and feel of my blog page. I was getting bored with it, and wanted to jazz it up a bit.....much like when I get bored with a room in my house, and want to add a new accessory to it. In the process of trying to make some changes, I left my blog page a mess, and had to walk away from it for a while. With the help of my own personal geek squad, I was able to put most of it back together again. But putting her back together again became a literal chore for me, which I procrastinated and avoided.

4) We had this little Hesterfamily tradition of a Memorial Day Party, that brings about 60 people to our house. We absolutely love it......but it requires just a teeny bit of planning and work. No time to even think about blogging then. Too much fun!!!

5) I have been worried about having a potential brain tumor. After the TODAY SHOW listed Ted Kennedy's warning signs the other day, (I may be a republican....but I can't help but bear Ted Kennedy's burden :) ) I nodded my head of course, and mentally checked off a few of my own symptoms. I have been experiencing these white flashes in the periphery of my left eye....as if something is moving around me...and I was a little nervous about it. With a trip to the opthamologist, I learned that I am experiencing "floaters." What a "semi" relief!!!!


6) One more "self-revelation" of sorts that I have been reminded of lately. I am realizing that if I am stressed about something, I begin to subconsciously shut myself down....that is, I tend to keep myself at a distance...not allowing a lot of people in to my life. This is sooooooooo anti-me!!!!!! I typically thrive on interaction....love to be around people....treasure the relationships around me. So, yet another reason I have been "hard to find." Side Note: Does anybody out there feel like they are still learning about their own idiosyncrazies?? (I purposely spelled it wrong because I think that it what they really are "idio-syn-crazies"...emphasis on the crazy).


Well, hopefully this might answer some of your questions. Maybe you didn't have a single "Where have you been" thought in your head.....and that's ok. Just keep this list handy the next time I go for a long spell without writing. Chances are pretty good it might have something to do with one of the above.

Hesterwoman....out!!

"Blogging is still dangerous, uncharted water. There's a part of opening the window to your life that will draw people closer; there's a part that will drive people away. In knowing what to mask and what to unveil -- there lies the wisdom of the ages." -Another blogger in FL. (Although I wish I had said this myself)