Thirteen Years ago today......

I think every generation unfortunately has their own "JFK" moment.

(Defined: A moment in history that shocks, saddens, and leaves a large group of people forever changed..in this case, an entire country.)

I remember listening to my mom share where she was and what she was doing the moment she learned that JFK had been shot. Her words painted a picture of an event that is deeply etched in the minds of the people who lived through it. Before our own "JFK" moment as a country on September 11, 2001, I can remember exactly where I was, and what I was doing at 9:02 am on April 19, 1995. It is a date that will be forever engraved in my mind. I stood before my 5th grade class, in Edmond Oklahoma, getting ready to begin our second day of standardized testing, which most schools administer during the Spring. It was a beautiful day....the sun shining gloriously through the one window in our classroom. Keeping the kids focused on this day would be difficult. Thoughts of summer break were already streaming through their heads, but we were making the most of our time by getting started on the test right away. Standardized testing was taken very seriously. The entire school had begun their testing promptly that morning, and there was a unified silence that enveloped the school.

I stood at the podium of my classroom, six months pregnant with our first baby. I looked out at "my kids" who were working diligently on the first phase of their test, and beamed with pride. I loved them all like they were my own. I hadn't experienced motherhood yet, so my heart was sold out exclusively to my students. Going to work each day was a pleasure for me. It was my lifelong dream to be a teacher and I poured everything into it.

Because of the strict schedule we were under as a school, we were not allowed to let students enter and exit our classrooms for any reason during our times of testing. There would be designated breaks for a snack and bathroom stop, but otherwise, there would be no one allowed in the hallways in order to keep disruption to a minimum. I looked down at my schedule to take note of when our first break would be. The kids would be testing until 10:30am. I would be transporting them to their Special at that time (Music), and we would be sure to hit the bathrooms on the way there.

As I turned the page of my testing booklet, I felt my classroom shake. It startled me and I looked up at my kids to see if they had felt it as well. I was met with 18 quizzical sets of eyes starring back at me. We were all wondering what that rumbling was. I didn't want to lose the atmosphere in my room. I told them to carry on with their testing, and I went to the door. I opened it in hopes of finding someone who could explain to me what we felt. There was no one there. The hallway was completely empty. We returned to our testing, and for the next hour and a half, had no idea what horrific news we would be learning in the minutes to come.

I went back to what I was doing, all the while trying to figure out the reason behind the tremor we felt. Were there workers on the roof and they dropped something of enormous weight on top of our classroom? Was it a sonic boom? Was it an earthquake? I was dumbfounded. When 10:30 finally rolled around, our morning testing was complete, and the kids lined up at the door. As I ushered them out of the classroom, I noticed teachers in the hallway, huddled together, hugging one another and crying. My heart began to beat rapidly as I couldn't imagine what news was causing this type of reaction of our staff. Did something happen to one of our students....one of our teachers?

I approached one of them and asked them what had happened. A fellow teacher through tears explained that there had been an explosion downtown in Oklahoma City (20 miles south of our school) and there were a number of deaths. (At that point, we did not know the magnitude of the explosion and the news was sketchy. We thought it was an accident and had no idea that it was an evil act.) Teachers were extremely concerned about our students, because many of their parents worked downtown. As the news spread, frantic parents came to pick up their children...needing desperately to be with them. I would understand that need when I became a mother myself, but at that time, my baby was safe in the womb, and I had no parental worries. By the afternoon, I only had a handful of students left in my classroom.

I wanted to go home so badly, but I needed to be there for my students. As a staff, we had to appear confident, and not anxious, so the students would remain calm. I wanted desperately to see Gregg, but I learned that he was under lock down at Tinker AFB in OKC, and did not know when he would be allowed to return home. At 3:15, the bell rang, and with a meaningful hug, I let my remaining students out the door. I drove to the safety of my home, and turned on the tv, seeing the shocking images for the first time with my own eyes. It was too much to bear. My stomach turned in reaction to what I was viewing. In my naivety, I thought to myself, "This kind of stuff only happens in the Middle East." At that time, the country did not know it was "one of our own" that chose to commit such an unspeakable act.

And then in all of the abhorrence, God made Himself known. He used the great spirit of the people of Oklahoma to pour themselves sacrificially into the situation. They gave of their time, their resources, their blood, to assist and minister to the pain in anyway they could. They got creative, they joined together, they wept, they prayed, and in the end, they showed a country what it meant to give yourself away for the sake of your neighbor. We did not know at the time that we would need the example they set when 6 years later, we would experience as a country what Oklahoma City did, although on a much grander scale.

I have shared too long....and I would be amazed if you are still reading after all of this. But this memory is part of who I am as a person. It is a piece of my history as an American and as a Christ-follower. Because you couldn't live through something that horrific and not see God throughout, making Himself illuminate greater than all the evil that was cast upon OKC that day. There are many things I have taken with me, when I left that state of "red clay" now 7 years ago. Too many to list here. But I will say that I have been permanently branded or marked, if you will, by the culture of that community of people. They are sacrificial givers and they were long before April 19, 1995. They bravely and faithfully rose to the enormous task of caring for the needs of their people in the shadow of such wickedness and they asked God for the strength to do it. He answered it then, and He continues to do so.