When a friend no longer "has your back"

I am really enjoying my Beth Moore study with David. Each day, I feel like I am learning something different and interesting that I hadn't really thought of before. I value that about Beth Moore. It is my favorite thing about her. God uses her to bring out the color, dimension, and life of His Word. Under her teaching, you are left with an unquenchable need to continue reading the Word...as if she leaves you with a biblical cliffhanger each day, and she isn't even The Author of The Book. This study is especially meaningful to me as Gregg is doing it too...just a few days behind me. It's fun for me to discuss this with him.

Today, as I plug along through my 90 day journey, I was reading about Saul trying to kill David. Saul's jealousy overtook his rationality (although there is evidence throughout 1 Samuel which shows he didn't have much), and he made several attempts to end David's life...even when his own daughter was married to him. As I read the scene where Saul tries to pin David to the wall with a spear, I wondered if David ever wondered what happened to his relationship with Saul. Back in 1 Samuel 16:21, we learn that "David came to Saul and entered his service. Saul liked him very much, and David became one of his armor-bearers." Not only that but Saul was "pleased" with him. He found "relief from the evil spirit" when David was around. David's presence in his life was a blessing. He added much to Saul's life.

So, what a difference a few chapters in the Bible make!!! By 1 Samuel 19, Saul and David's relationship has no evidence of what it used to be. Now Saul is running around with spears, hunting down David, while this particular son of Jesse is running for his life!! And we aren't even mentioning how taxiing this unhealthy relationship with his now father-in-law had to be on David's marriage to Michal. Thankfully for David in this case, her allegiance to her man took precedence over honoring her father.

This story leads me to think about the relationships we have in our lives. How many times do we allow our once healthy relationships to turn sour....where they almost become unrecognizable to us? We may know we are at an unhealthy juncture...but we are so enraged with sin, we don't have the capacity to remember what drew us to the person in the first place-like in Saul's situation with David. Now, sometimes relationships change due to circumstances in our lives. But when "jealousy, spears, and evil spirits" come into play, then it is obvious you have something you need to address with one another. While David was running away from Saul, I just wondered if he ever thought "What happened to us, Saul???" or maybe "I know you once 'had my back' Saul, but this is ridiculous!"

So...I am left pondering Saul once again. I do see many similarities with Saul and myself. I don't want to. He just is sooooo good at showing his humanness...and of course, highlighting his behavior due to his own personal evil spirit. I want to be better about loyalty, allegiance, and over all commitment than Saul. I want to contribute to relationships in my life without carrying a spear in hand. I want to live out my relationships like Christ. And I want to receive the forgiveness of Him and others when I fail.